Things I enjoyed during 2003:

Website: epitonic.com
Blog: Christian Finnegan
Photos: Slower.net
Idea: Justin Timberlake video
Blog Title: Tangled up in Blog
Post: signs
Story Tellers: Robin & Doug Johnson

Month: August
Holiday: 4th of July
Trip: Vegas
Party: K Rock’s b-day party
Morning: Thanksgiving morning
Afternoon: Hiking in Whales
Night: Playing cards at the Heidelberg
Lunch: Basil Chicken sandwich from Europa Café
Snack: Brown Cinnamon Pop Tarts
Deli: Pranzo Deli on 50th
Drinks: Odan 14 Scotch

Movie: Big Lebowski
Cinematographer: Harry Savides (elephant & gerry)
Boys on Film: Robert De Niro in Raging Bull
Girls on Film: Marcia in Mystic River
Dreamboat: Jude Law
Sellout: Maggie G.
TV: Six feet under
MTV: Newlywed’s
Comedy: Tinkle

Singer: Jim James
Band: Led Zeppelin
Composer: Rachmaninoff
Albums: Queens of the Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf
Song: Breathe – Pink Floyd
Lyrics: "I'm gonna fight em' off. A seven nation army couldn't hold me back."
Soundtrack: Morvern Caller

Store: Cancer Care Thrift Shop
Clothes: Aqua cashmere sweater
Brand: J.Crew
Drug: Ambien
Money: Radiohead concert refund
Ad Campaign: Volkswagen
Book: Shopgirl
Magazine: Vanity Fair
Word: blog

Tim Robbins and Sean Penn should both receive nominations for Mystic River. Hell, so should the diction coach. Well done.

A full list of lists of 2003.

George and I were talking about how we spent our Christmas'. We both argreed that Christmas will not feel like Christmas again, until we have our own families. We are at an inbetween age. For now its really a day off, where you think about stuff. Christmas, and Trix, are for kids.

Sorry, but Yahoo! Oddly Enough is really funny today. Aside from the Santa Helicopter crash, we have this girl who would like the freedom to pose her naked barbies with kitchen appliances... in of all places? Utah.

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A federal appeals court has upheld a Utah artist's right to make nude photos of Barbie dolls being menaced by kitchen appliances.

Ah the wonders of a Manhattan apartment. This man was trapped in his for two days under a pile of books and magazines!!

I woke up to this story on NPR:
The 27th of December was supposedly the one year anniversary of the first cloned human being. Her name (shocker) is Eve. Her scientist parents belong to a religion called Raelian. In said religion, members are encouraged by aliens, to clone human beings. Well, in said religion, members are basically encouraged by aliens in life. They say that the name of God (Elohim) means not God, but “those who came from the sky”. So anyway. After making this announcement last year - that they had successfully cloned the first human being – the group of scientists/alien freaks are opting for silence. They will not tell the progress or whereabouts of Eve. Check out this funk.

I just want to know who cloned themself? I mean really.

There is a zen to be found in ice skating. Its the same zen that a woman can find while walking in high heels. In both sports you really have to concentrate on the simple act of staying vertical, and keeping your ass above sea level. All of this concentration can really clear your thoughts. I find both excruciatingly relaxing.

The thing that sucks about buying new beautiful lacy bras that make your tits look fantastic, is that you can't really show off your new goods to the general public. When people ask me about my christmas presents I want to show them what I dropped my money on. Lift up my shirt - "aren't these bows to die for!! God, right when I saw this bra, I knew it was mine! The lace, the color, the way it fits. Doesn't it look fantastic??!!"
That's the downfall of wearing beautiful new bras. They are hidden.

Last night I watched Elephant, by Gus Van Sant. After the finish of the movie about five people ran out of the theatre, and the other 15 of us just sat there in silence. I couldn't consider going out on the street. I had to sit and stare. get mad. get sad. I wanted someone to say something - but at the same time, didn't want anyone to ruin that golden silent moment.
This movie is a must see for all of you who were at one time in high school. Please see this in the theatres before it leaves. Gus deserves the ticket sale. This was the most moving picture I have watched all year.
Finally.
That is why I went - in hopes of finally seeing a movie that would leave me breathless.
It worked.
If you are totally clueless as to when/where Elephant is playing - I will personally look up the information for you, and send you directions to the theatre closest to you. Just email me your zip code, or something like that.

Go just knowing you should see it. I don't suggest looking up spoilers.

Move over Martha - Alaska Women chop the wood, and carry the water.

Why isn't the word "palindrome", a palindrome??

Oops! Someone take this sign down!! THERE MUST BE A MISTAKE!!

My homeland is being attacked. By loggers. Pres. Bush has decided to change yet another sensible rule set up by the Clinton administration. This time it involves the trees in the Tongass National Forest.

Unfortunately I saw this too late.

Here is a map of OUR NATION'S LARGEST NATIONAL FOREST:


Here is a guy who walked around Alaska in 1975, for National Geographic:

Today I received a late Christmas present from the early Stuart Ross. It is a book called Lunch Poems by my favorite Frank O'Hara. I was going to read one poem a day during my lunch breaks because I thought that sounded "eulogy" nice (i tend to work under the pretense of how it will sound in a eulogy):

"She appreciated Frank O'Hara, and used to read one poem a day during her lunch break from his book Lunch Poems. This book can be purchased on Amazon.com for $12.99 - or you might find a nice used copy down at The Strand on 12th and Broadway."

So anyway, it goes like this:

Lana Turner has collapsed!
I was trotting along and suddenly
it started raining and snowing
and you said it was hailing
but hailing hits you on the head
hard so it was really snowing and
raining and I was in such a hurry
to meet you but the traffic
was acting like the sky
and suddenly I see a headline
LANA TURNER HAS COLLAPSED!
there is no snow in Hollywood
there is no rain in California
I have been to lots of parties
but I have never actually collapsed
oh Lana Turner we love you get up
1962

the word "crimbo" keeps following me around. James the roommate said it first. So I looked it up, and it's primarily British. Then the other day at the boys' Christmas pagent they used the word "crimbo". Then when Mona said goodbye to me in the car she said "Merry Crimbo". Its kind of weird, being that I didnt know what the word meant until two weeks ago.

My Dorky Dad Dave.

Coincidentally Robert Duvall is in four movies that I am watching this week: The Godfather I and II, To Kill a Mockingbird, and M*A*S*H. Turns out I am his new biggest fan. I like him. I wonder if he likes me.

On a side note - I just realized that Britney Spears (November 2003) received a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame exactly two months after Robert Duvall (September 2003). Go figure.

Sometimes I feel like I have an Angel. I mean, the Angel (no offense Mr. Angel) is passed out half the time, but for the most part - I feel protected.
So, this morning on the subway platform, I was standing in an unusual spot. I typically stand between two specific stairways by this column that I typically lean up against. This morning, I was situated at the wrong column because I was fumbling with my CD player - (in attempts to listen to Judy.) So as I am fumbling, and the train pulls up. I stand to the side to let the people off.
I look up, and what to my wondering eyes do appear?
An old friend from Alaska who moved here this year.
I grabbed her arm, and we just stood there chatting like old friends. It was a blessing to see her, because I have been feeling so broken-in-half and empty. It was a joy to see a fresh face, and just chat about something else for two minutes.
When things like this happen, I feel like I am in the right place at the right time. A little hard for me to believe at this time in my life – but affirming none the less.

Yesterday at work we were all getting this big package together for these two girls. They are 5 and 11. So we were thinking about what they might like and I said:

"I have no idea what an 11 year old wants."

Then I started thinking for a minute and smirked:

"The 11 year old Anise would be horrified at my last comment."

I never thought I would forget what it was like to be a certain age. I mean, the times have changed since I was 11, but not basic principles and stuff like that. An 11 year old girl, is an 11 year old girl, is an 11 year old girl.
Or maybe that assumption is completely naive, and that is how we age ourselves. Thinking that time and progress stops, and 11 year old girls will always like bead sets, and bracelets. Who knows. I guess that is all part of human progress.

The current "thing that is following me around" would be The Ghost of Judy Garland Past. I am not in the Christmas spirit, and am not really seeking anything of the sort. This year I am in the Judy Garland spirit. I was at my least favorite thrift store on 3rd and 83rd street. The man behind the counter is this very fluffy, snotty guy. We never really talk to each other – but I needed his assistance. Playing in the background was Judy. I have never really been interested in Judy. But the song playing was from a Judy concert in Paris, and it made me feel like Christmas. So after asking him for the Vaurnet’s, I then asked if the Judy was for sale. Both him and the fag hag next to him start choppy laughing, asking me if I am insane.
“Not really.” I replied.
“Well anyway, this album is not for sale.” kackle kackle.
“Yes. I am okay with that. Do you think I could look at the cover?”
So I examine the cover and resolve that other than the Big Lebowski CD that I had received two days earlier – I wanted nothing more than this rare Judy CD.
The cover picture, and the stories that the fag hag bragged - about Judy showing up two hours late, drunk, combined with the pill popping stories that Doug always tells about Judy openly raiding medicine cabinets at parties, and no one saying a word – jump starteded my admiration.
On Saturday I purchased the Judy Garland 1961 Carnegie Hall concert. The album has nothing more than clicked with the feeling I am feeling this December. My favorite track is the Gershwin number – ‘Do It Again’.

+++++
"Do It Again" lyrics: (i know, its annoying that I post lyrics- so just scroll through it - but the lyrics have a message. so eat it.)

You really shouldn’t have done it
You hadn’t any right
I really shouldn’t have let you
Kiss me.
And although it was wrong
I never went strong.
So as long as you’ve begun it
And you know you shouldn’t have done it.

Oh.
Do it again.
I my cry no. no. no. no. no. no.
But do it again.
My lips just ache
To have you take the kiss
That’s waiting for you
You know if you do
You won’t regret it
Come and get it.

Oh.
No one is near
I may cry oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh
But no one can hear.
Mamma may scold me
Cuz’ she told me
It was naughty but then

Please,
Do it again.
Yes do it again. And again and again and again and again and again
Turn out the light.
And hold me close
In your arms
All through the night.
I know tomorrow morning
You will say
Goodbye and Amen.

But until then...
Please do it again.
+++++

Whew. Geez. Heavy! So, this morning I woke up to the radio, as always, and who were they doing a clip on?? Judy Garland's signature number “Over The Rainbow”, as part of the NPR series called “No Place Like Home”. Did you know that they weren't even going to include the number in the movie? shame. Its all about being homesick. Just to annoy the crap out of you, I am going to put the lyrics in for Over the Rainbow too. Click on this link to see the full effect.

+++++
Somewhere over the Rainbow lyrics:

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?
++++

What better than a pill popping, drunk, 30 years dead, singing to you in your warm fuzzy Manhattan apartment? Theres no place like home.

My middle fingers are sticking up right now.

The Christmas bonus will not be given to the 3 of us in the photodesk.

We thought we were getting the bonus for about 2 hours on Friday.

Please ignore the post saying that we should call the christmas bonus, a christmas boner.

And please ignore the post where I type out the lyrics for my new hit song: "Today I am Buying a Digital Camera"

Supposed “Christmas songs” that have nothing to do with Jesus being supposedly born on December 25th:
1. Jingle Bells
2. Sleigh Ride
3. Winter Wonderland
4. Frosty the Snowman
5. Let it Snow

Last night was the darkest night of the year.
With only a sliver of moonlight to guide us.
We piled into the car for an early dinner.
Wearing red sweaters and pearl strands.
Enjoying Hot Toddies and calling Sundaes - Mondays.
Laughing at treating Christmas carols like "spoken Word".
We escaped together at the Apawamis Country Club.
Warming napkins on our laps.
Whetting silver in our mouths.

Dead Flowers by Keith Richards

Well, when you’re sitting there
In your silk upholstered chair
Talking to some rich folks that you know
Well I hope you won’t see me
In my ragged company
You know I could never be alone

Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think you’re the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave

Well, when you’re sitting back
In your rose pink cadillac
Making bets on kentucky derby day
I’ll be in my basement room
With a needle and a spoon
And another girl to take my pain away

Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think you’re the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave

Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think you’re the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the us mail
Say it with dead flowers at my wedding
And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave
No I won’t forget to put roses on your grave

I would like to from this point forward refer to the Christmas bonus as "The Christmas Boner".

Today we got the Christmas bonus at my job. In light of the event, I wrote a song(to be sung to the tune of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow"):

Today I'm Buying a Digital Camera
by Anise Brunch.

Today I'm buying a camera
I'm buying a digital camera
I'm buying a digital cameraaaaaaaa
Today after work.

Today after work
Today after work.
I'm buying a digital cameraaaaaaaa
Today after work.

If I was a rock star, and my record label made me put out a christmas track, I would sing Walking in a Winter Wonderland - but call it Rocking in a Winter Wonderland.

I would like everyone to take a minute and read this out loud - where ever you are. Just read it out loud.

Let's look at the snow.
We're riding in a wonderland of snow
Giddy-up giddy-up giddy-up it's grand
Just holding your hand
We're gliding along with the song of a winter-y fairy land

Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we
We're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather would be
Let's take the road before us and sing a chorus or two
Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray
It'll be the perfect ending of a perfect day
We'll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop
At the fireplace while we watch the chestnuts pop
Pop! Pop! Pop!

So I have a new fan. His name is Mr. Mike Lawson. He types: “If I rock your world the way you rock mine, you can link to me”. So I will do just that. His site is fine with me. He posted something about watching the 100 greatest movies of all time. Lets all try to do this in the new year. He bolded the ones that he has seen, so I too, will bold the one’s I have watched. Cool. Wicked. Peace.

100 Greatest Movies of All Time by the American Film Institute:

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941)
2. CASABLANCA (1942)
3. THE GODFATHER (1972)
4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
7. THE GRADUATE (1967)
8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9. SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993)
10. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
11. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957)
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
15. STAR WARS (1977)
16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)
18. PSYCHO (1960)
19. CHINATOWN (1974)
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)
24. RAGING BULL (1980)
25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)
26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964)
27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)
28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)
30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948)
31. ANNIE HALL (1977)
32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)
33. HIGH NOON (1952)
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969)
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
42. REAR WINDOW (1954)
43. KING KONG (1933)
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915)
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
47. TAXI DRIVER (1976)
48. JAWS (1975)
49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)
50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953)
53. AMADEUS (1984)
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)
56. M*A*S*H (1970)
57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)
58. FANTASIA (1940)
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)
61. VERTIGO (1958)
62. TOOTSIE (1982)
63. STAGECOACH (1939)
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
66. NETWORK (1976)
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962)
68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)
69. SHANE (1953)
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971)
71. FORREST GUMP (1994)
72. BEN-HUR (1959)
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)
78. ROCKY (1976)
79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)
80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)
81. MODERN TIMES (1936)
82. GIANT (1956)
83. PLATOON (1986)
84. FARGO (1996)
85. DUCK SOUP (1933)
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)
87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
88. EASY RIDER (1969)
89. PATTON (1970)
90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)
91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)
93. THE APARTMENT (1960)
94. GOODFELLAS (1990)
95. PULP FICTION (1994)
96. THE SEARCHERS (1956)
97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
98. UNFORGIVEN (1992)
99. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER (1967)
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)

Her Eyes are a Blue Million Miles by Captain Beefheart

I look at her and she looks at me
In her eyes I see the sea
I can`t see what she sees in a man like me
She says she loves me

Her eyes are a blue million miles

Far as I can see
She loves me

Her eyes are a blue million miles

Far as I can see
She loves me

I look at her and she looks at me
In her eyes I see the sea
I can`t see what she sees in a man like me
She says she loves me

Her eyes are a blue million miles

Savion Glover is a great tap dancer. He has a show called "Improvography" down in Chelsea for the next couple weeks. If you can, be sure to check it out.

Andi at my office was my secret santa. She got me the Big Lebowski soundtrack. The first track is my new favorite song in the whole wide world.
The Man in Me is the song.
New Morning is the album.
Bob Dylan is the artist.

These are the lyrics (the part that counts.):

(la la la la la la la)
The man in me will do nearly any task,
And as for compensation, there's little he would ask.
Take a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

Storm clouds are raging all around my door,
I think to myself I might not take it any more.
Take a woman like your kind
To find the man in me.

But, oh, what a wonderful feeling
Just to know that you are near,
Sets my a heart a-reeling
From my toes up to my ears.

The man in me will hide sometimes to keep from bein' seen,
But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine.
Took a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

Copyright © 1970 Big Sky Music

Reason Why I Love Americans #785:

If it is now illegal to share music; is it now illegal to share books? I was planning on giving The Da Vinci Code to an office friend. I am having second thoughts.

Will we treat music sharing laws the same way we treat the tag on our pillows and mattresses?

Its difficult for me to take Jessie Jackson seriously when, over the radio, he sounds like Tracy Morgan.

Add another boy to Elijah's list: Dreamboat Hanson.

My new favorite Jew Andrew Goldberg (aka The Hebrew Hammer). Word on the street is that Andrew aint even got a Jewish mom. How dope is that?

Obviously Saddam is super scared of death - being that he hasn't yet killed himself. I mean really.

I was just talking about photographs that everyone has - like the Eiffel tower, statue of liberty, Hollywood hills, etc. When I look through people's travel albums I always say "oh! I have that shot!" So I was thinking that it might be a cool project to get together like 50 different people, and have them submit their Eiffel tower, statue of liberty, and Hollywood hills shots. Make them all the same size. Put them on a board together. Call the project: "We Have All Been to the Same Place."

Today I went to my first movie premiere. Forget that it was with Robin, or that it was Peter Pan. I am still cooler than you are. As far as movie stars are concerned it was mostly a family affair. Tony Soprano, I mean James Gandolfino was there with his family. Eddie Murphy was there with his family. Kelly Ripa was there with her farm. And Michael Musto was there with his Musto.
So the movie was cool to see for free, and before anyone else. The theatre smelled like nutmeg. There are no previews at a premiere, and there are people that stand up and talk to you before and after the event. The movie itself was a little dark. All the children ages 3-6 got scared at Captain Hook. I got a little scared when they showed the captains arm without the hook attachment. It looked like a ham bone. The little kid actress that played Wendy was cute. I took a good 30 minute nap. But that's what I tend to do when movies are basically predictable, and I am wearing a cozy cashmere sweater.
The after party was held at The Pierre. Tony Soprano was chilling on the floor playing with his kids who were playing with balloons. Kelly Ripa didn't go. Eddie Murphy had way cooler things to do. And Michael Musto got cotton candy, and then left the party. Robin and I decorated cookies, ate really yummy ice cream, got cotton candy, and drank about 3 bottles of coke.
Before we left Robin had to leave her mark on the place by disobeying my orders of "please do not play volleyball with the big pink balloon - people are still eating" by punching the balloon up so high that it popped on the chandelier, leaving all of the rubber balloon dangling from the crystals. After that happened, I thought it would be a good idea to leave.
The End.

I don't think Saddam was involved. I think Andy Dick was. -Doug Johnson.

My theory is Osama is a bus boy in Vegas. -Doug Johnson

The message of the movie Love Actually, made feel really bad for having an Amazon.com wishlist.

Apparently it's amusing to create an Amazon wishlist for George W. Bush??

Bobby and Whitney are the Ike and Tina of our generation.

Self Portrait on Seventh Avenue during my lunch break. December 2003.

Did anyone notice Bill Murray's shoes throughout Lost in Translation? I am trying to find pictures of his shoes, but to no avail. You are just going to have to watch it again, if you didnt notice the shoes.

This month, the project Story Corps is operating a cool glowing sound booth inside the Grand Central Terminal Concourse. The sound booth is there to encourage regular Joe Shmoes to record stories about NYC past – or just about the past in general. So, being all about historical and cool, I would like to encourage everyone to take part in the project.

Alls you need to do is gather up your best story tellers, ten dollars, and head to the sound booth at GCT immediately. Simply go to the website, arrange a time to record, drag your elder (or just plain wiser comrade) friend to GCT, ask them questions about the past, have a good laugh, and call it a day. Please please please check this out. We all know a great story teller, or maybe you fancy yourself a campfire God. Who knows. Be a part of NYC history. If anything to see the cool glowing sound booth.

Last night I watched Part 1 of Angels in America. The Rabbi's opening sermon will make you cry. The Jewish boyfriend will make you think. The Mormon couple will make you want to scream. All this, during the first half hour.

There is a slide show going on this December called God Bless Americana: The Holiday Retro Slideshow. The show is basically a collection of old photographs of families celebrating the holidays. It caught my eye because one of the images (pictured below) is named “Ed Wood Christmas”.

Ed Wood is currently the “thing” that is following me around. You know when you read about something – and then the next day out of the blue, that something appears in an article, and then the next next day you see a poster for that something? That is called the "following-thing conspiracy". Of course the "following-thing conspiracy" excludes obvious media presence (like commercials, times square etc.). The “ following-thing” has to be something random, and unknown - something new to your brain. My Dad was the first one to bring the conspiracy to my attention - so whenever the “following-thing conspiracy” happens to me, I think of my Dad.* So anyway, Ed Wood is following me around. They say he was the worst director in the history of filmmaking. I plan on watching his films over Christmas break.

In the meantime, check out Charles Phoenix's slide show. It is playing in both LA and NYC.

"Ed Wood Does Christmas," from Charles Phoenix's multimedia presentation, "God Bless Americana: The Retro Holiday Slide Show."

*Since this month is My Family Kicks Your Families Ass Month – I had to drop the Dad comment.

Put some chocolate on that. Indulge me.

Bridget Jones' Back!!

On the left we have Renee December 2003!! On the right we have Renee March 2002!!

Shout out to all those who have contemplated writing the note...

Our special accent riddled building announcer just announced:

"Good morning everybody."

pause

"I just wanttotell evry body."

pause

"That there is fire."

pause

pause

pause

"department activity."

"outside the building"

"due to ice, falling."

pause

"thank you."

at work i just annouced:

"i would like to take a half day today. I would like to go home and sleep. I have the days. I am going home."

I would like to propose that American Beauty is the Groundhog Day of our generation.

in other similar news: Here is someone living Under the Table and Dreaming lyrics.

everybody. matt from keyofe.blogspot sent me a message today telling me that ms. anti anti themodernage.org is back. its not half as good as "they" once were, but "they" tell us that "they" are undergoing changes. so whatever. i guess check them from time to time. it still hurts me that someone with so much talent is caught up in the whole "oh shit, i got too good for the amount of good that a cool person is allowed to be" movement - (or whatever i coined it in my eloquent letter 2 months ago.)
cheers.


my roommate said cheers on the answer machine the other day when he was calling from outside the apartment for me to let him in the front door. the lock was broked.

This weekend I am going sledding and ice skating. I am very excited about this. I am very excited about the snow. The view from this 32nd floor window makes the snow look like small specs of white cotton.

Huge snow storms really bring humans in the city physically closer. Sure, we can choose to hole up in our apartments, however its the being outside, saying "pardon me", and taking turns on the little shovelled-out walkways that really forces us to interact and brush up against each other. I guess one could say the same thing about riding the subway.

Rain makes us annoyed. Sun makes us hot.

Today two different people have used the word "solipsistic" in my presence. Funny thing is; they both live in Yorkville. Should I be concerned??

at work i just announced:

"FYI. i'm putting my feet on the desk."

silence.

A cool community/culture project might be rigging a couple subway cars with a device where one could hook up their player (CD or MP3) - and whatever they is listening too, would play throughout the car. The volume would be controlled, but the music (obviously) not. People don't carry their boomboxes around that much anymore - so this might be a way of looking back and sharing. Like this morning - I wanted the whole subway car to be jumping with how I felt inside as I listened to Ludacris. However, most people wouldn’t want to be jumping around at 6:30am to Ludacris. Bless those that do.

I would like to take pictures of Hip Hop artists in old masters style dating from the Renaissance. I feel like there are too many Hip Hop artists portraits of them blowing smoke, or sitting in swirling smoke, or lighting a J. I just don't think that is very catchy - and feel like they need to be represented for what they are - kind of modern Renaissance masters. In a way.

Andre 3000 reading my mind in "Hey Ya":

I am currently digging the song “Stand Up” by Ludacris. The one that goes: "when i move you move (justlikethat?), when i move you move, (just like that?)"

I like the spin on acronyms he uses here:

I'm the GOD DAMN reason you in VIP
CEO you don't have to see ID
I'm young, wild, and strapped like Chi-Ali

And then my favorite part is when he eloquently states:

The owner already pissed cause we sorta late
But our time and our clothes gotta coordinate
Most girls lookin right some lookin a mess
That's why they spilling drinks all over ya dress
But Louis Vuitton bras all over your breasts (I like that LV part.)
Got me wanting to put hickies all over ya chest-ahh

So anyway.

From Tough to Stupid. Murder Inc. has decided to clean up their act. They are now called the Inc.

For some reason the movie Down With Love had me rolling on the floor last night. There are some hysterical lines in the movie that make up for the casting of Renee Zellwegger. Her plastic face smile looks so painful and akward, that it makes me cringe. Anyway, other than her face, the movie was 100% enjoyable.

I also rented Lola by Fassbinder, but I fell asleep - it was all the reading of those captions... And I was tired. It seemed okay - typical Euro drama though.

Sometimes I look at Orlando Bloom, and I see a resemblance to Justin Timberlake.

My next door neighbor and I listen to the same station. He is about oh, 70 years old, and lives a quiet life, alone. He rides his bike everywhere. He always says hello in the hallways. We listen at the same time to the same station. I always enjoy leaving my apartment and being able to hear the station continue down the stairs (he plays it rather loud).
So it got me thinking about the radio, and how much it kicks ass over the all-consuming TV. I think the coolness of the radio would be the fact that two people can be doing separate things - in separate lives, yet move to the same soundtrack (if they are tuned in to the same station.) For some reason, as I was sitting there last night, the notion of this seemed so simple and beautiful.

Oh, and I don’t want to make my neighbor out to be a complete loner. Last week I saw a round, sturdy, lady at his front door. She was wearing brown fur and red lipstick. I told myself that she was an old love of his. This made me smile and think, "Lucky bastard. I guess everyone needs an old love."

Just read this in the NYTimes:

"One old reason to stay — pursuit of the bigger-is-better American dogma of progress and growth — fits Reydon like a glove on a goat. "

Do people really say "glove on a goat"? What is that all about???

Apparently there is a fire in the basement of my office building right now. A boring mopey coworker just said (read in monotone-i-am-boring-and-mope-around tone) "for real. there is a fire in the basement."

Please somebody say something fast. I don't want these monotone words, and lame laugh to be stuck in my head, last thing before I bite the dust on my terribly eventful, 26 years of adventure, boredom, discovery, and gluttony. God. Speak to me now.

Back to reality. I might have to stop typing and get outta here. So I guess there is a fire, and if we don't get out - oh wait - there was an announcement.

Everything is cool in the building. Elevators are back up and running.

Office that I work with: the problem with our emergency service guy is that YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND HIM. He has a very strong accent, that is difficult to decipher amongst all the static background reverb.

So basically if I do bite it in this building I am going out hearing mopey/boring person translating everything static/strong accent person says. Tonight I will prepare an emergency "music to go out to" CD and store that and a CD player in my desk.

I wonder what music would be on that CD!?!? Oh gee, yet another hot topic to discuss over drinks at a bar!!

I am going to live. Close call. Mom - in the event where there is a body to deal with, please have it shipped back to my homeland. I do not want to stay here. No offense with here, I just know that this is not where I want to end up rotting. Too many things are rotting here. I do not want to be one of them. Also, there is nothing to really retrieve here, I mean, I still sleep on a cot. Well, I guess you can have all my clothes. Joshua and Geo can fight over my CD collection and stereo. The Toole family can have their furniture back - (Laurie gets the telly-she paid for half). James can have the food in the icebox. Mona can have all of my jewelry (she gave it all to me in the first place.) As for my journals? 1987-1990 goes to Derek Ruckel, 1990-1994 - goes to Aaron McCubbins & Sascha Peterson, 1995-1998 goes to Daniel Thompson, 1998-2000 goes to Pete O'Connell, and in 2000 I decided to cease keeping a journal because me whining about boys was getting a little redundant...

I think I just wrote a makeshift/pseudo - Will. ? I meant everything I typed.

I wish real Wills were like high school Wills. Like, I would like to will someone my laugh, and my team spirit, and my ability to swim the 100 free in 1 minute 45 seconds. But that has all changed now. I guess my newfound abilities are making observations, reading bedtime stories to robin, cooking turkeys and hens, knitting extra long rectangles, and rummaging through thrift/antique stores....

I wonder what is more dangerous. Flying across the Atlantic once a month, or working in a Manhattan skyscraper Monday through Friday??

I am sorry to report that the Barney's store holiday windows this year SUCK.

Sometimes we are on the same page, yet in different paragraphs.
Sometimes we are in the same paragraph, but at a different sentence.
And sometimes we are in the same sentence, just representing a different word.
Different paragraphs, different sentences; we are all part of the same story.

These conversations might not seem like much, but for some reason I get a lot of feedback on them - typically from people that live away from their parents. So I post these conversations for those of us who live far away from extremely CANDID families... sigh. Also - a side note - I get really homesick around the holidays so, this site might turn into the "my family kicks your families ass" blog for the month of December. But it's true. My family kicks ass. Once my mom kicked me in the ass. I probably deserved it though...

My family reads my website. Sometimes I will get messages telling me to “delete immediately – you are making me look like a fool.” (those would be from my mother.) or whatever – the WHOLE family is up on the gig. (hi family.) I figure its cool, because I am out living in this far away place, and they are all living in Alaska or Oregon being healthy and wise. Also - as much as they say they hate my cussing, i know they secretly love the stories. Plus - I am a bad emailer when it comes to family. Its just one of those things.
So whatever.
Yesterday I call my mom. She was sitting in the hospital with my Papa who is sick. Present in the room was my Grandma, Geoffrey, Geoffrey’s best friend Mike, and my Mom.
I called to scold her on buying tickets to go watch my other brother swim in Seattle. (He is swimming in the US Open this weekend, and both my parents are flying out to see him – Hence, I got a little jealous.) Anyway – whatever, our conversation ends.
I hang up.
About 4 seconds later they call back:
Your Grandmother wants to know if you have seen Pay It Forward?
Yes.
Well, that is what the story on your website is about - the man on the bus, right?
Well yeah Mom, but it was more a comment on how typically American he was being – like automatically associating a random act with Hollywood. I found it funny to have just gotten off the plane, and be slammed in the face, first thing with something terribly American. It was funny to me.
(Mom to the room) She saw the movie, but she finds it funny, and thinks that guy was being too American.
(Mom to me) Your grandmother says you think too much.
What?
She said “That’s Anise for you, always analyzing everything.”
I thought it was just being perceptive.
No Anise, we all know you, and you over analyze. You can’t just say thank you to a man that paid your bus fare, you have to laugh and over analyze.
I did say thank you. I laughed to myself. He did not know how I felt. Its called thinking.
No its called over analyzing.
Okay.

This Thanksgiving I successfully cooked two Cornish hens* (with plum sauce and mango chutney to boot). I was really excited about cooking. I never really cook, yet feel like I am fairly decent when all is said and done. I have made one turkey in my life, and it was 3rd of July, 2002. I was cooking for about 4 congressmen and their wives in East Hampton.
My boss:
Anise why don’t we have turkey for lunch?
Okay – I will go buy a roasted turkey.
No, I have a turkey in the icebox.
Oh. I have never cooked a turkey.
Well, I am sure you can figure it out. It can’t be that difficult. (she was kind of an ass.)
So figure it out I did, and to my chagrin, the house was in uproar of how wonderful my turkey turned out. At first I thought they were pulling my leg, but a year and a half later, I realized that all of the praise was actually intended for me and my famous turkey.
This past Saturday I was telling Doug about my Cornish Hen success, and he says (while rubbing his knuckles – something he often does)
“Well Anise, nothing really holds a candle to that God damned turkey you cooked last summer.”

*The Hens were awesome. All of us are having Christmas dinner together as well, and I have been given the chore of cooking meat again. Whewee.

According to TMobile, here is the official list of text messaging acronyms. Everyone study up. I will be sending text message Pop Quizzes.

Emoticons
:) = Happy face for humor, laughter, friendliness, sarcasm
:D = Super happy/toothy smile, broad smile, etc.
:( = Sad face for sadness, anger, upset
;) = Wink
:/ = Wry face:P = Tongue out for just kidding
((hug)) = a hug
= grin
ALL CAPS = yelling

Phrases
AFO = Adult fan of...
AIM = AOL™ Instant Messenger™
ASAP = As soon as possible
ATM = At the moment
AYT = Are you there?
B = Bye
BBFN = Bye bye for now
BBL = (I will) be back later
BYO = Bring your own
CU = See you
DDG = Drop dead gorgeous
EA = E-mail alert
EOD = End of day
ETA = Estimated time of arrival
Flame(s) = Negative or derogatory e-mail or chatting
FYI = For your information
GTG = Got to go
ICQ = 1) I seek you 2) ICQ Instant Messaging service
IGU = I give up
IMO = In my opinion
IRT = In regards to
JAM = Just a minute
JIT = Just in time
JJ = Just joking
JK = Just kidding
LMHO = Laughing my head off
LOL = Laughing out loud
Lurk = To hang out in the background/viewing
L8R = LaterNA = Not acceptable/applicable
NOS = New old stock
OIC = Oh, I see
POV = Point of view
PS = Post script
QR = Quick response
ROTFLOL = Rolling on the floor laughing out loud
SMS = Short message service (an e-mail or other message)
SPAM = unwanted e-mail or chat content
SRO = Standing room only
SUP = What's up?
TOM = Tomorrow
TNX or TKS = Thanks
TTYL = Talk to you later
U2 = You, too
UR = You are
VSTR = VoiceStream
WYSIWYG = What you see is what you get

Abbreviations for words
1 = one, won, want
2 = To, too
4 = For
8 = ate
Y = Why
M = Am
N = An, and
M8 = Mate, boy or girl friend
NE = Any
R = Are
U = You
O = Oh
K = OK
L8R = Later
4VR = Forever
YER = Your, you're
B4 = Before
CUZ = Because

Examples of text-speak
i12cu = I want to see you.
cu l8r k? = See you later, ok?
10s ne1? = Tennis anyone?

I just asked Robin, -my affluent 8 year old of a friend- what she did for Thanksgiving. Envisioning sugarplums dancing in my head, she surprised me with:
"I went to lunch."
(I burst up laughing.) "oh G-d, that is so Manhattan of you! I love it, how wonderful!"
"Why are you laughing?"
"Because typically people get together bake a turkey, make stuffing, and have a group experience. You, on the other hand, went to lunch."
"Well there was turkey there. It was kind of like a buffet I guess."

I guess this would be my favorite balloon from MTDP History.

I would like to interview/test someone that works in grocery checkout.
I am interested in the fact that grocery checkout workers have to memorize numbers in association with produce. They have codes for everything: asparagus, apples, lettuce, spinach etc.
So it would kind of be like an association/imagery project of sorts. I would like to put a carrot, a head of iceberg lettuce, and a brussel sprout on a poster; and see what they might be able to come up with (in terms of random numbers). It would be a new form of free math. A type of movement that really has no relevance anywhere other than subjecting nature to commerce or commerce to nature.
Whichever is more powerful, I am guessing only time will tell.

A little pop culture moment:
real world/road rules blog.
Trishelle.
Ace has a website.
Puck's website.
The Miz. (this one is the best design-wise.)
The annoying Christian kid on the Guantlet.

Last night, my friend tole me that Red Bull is made with Horse Semen. Ewe.

I really don't understand why the Concord was put to a halt. I mean, it seems like a step backwards.

I forgot to tell this lame story that happened to me on the bus home from JFK the other day. It goes a little like this:
So, I get on the airport bus, and realize that I have a LGA ticket, as opposed to a JFK ticket. I then realize that all I had on me was Euros, so I couldn't pay the difference. It was late, and this mistake was holding up the bus. People were cranky. This gentleman two seats ahead of me turns around and says "look, what's the difference? This is ridiculous!" He then pulls out a wad of cash and starts pushing dollar bills in the bus ticket takers hand. I just sat there stunned because A.) I was tired, and B.) It was all happening to quickly for me to object. So he pays the guy. We take off on our journey home. I thank the guy, and the guy just shrugs it off. So whatever.
Quiet busride home. We all arrive back in Manhatter.
As I am exiting the bus, I put my hand gently on his shoulder and reiterate how thankful I was for him paying the three dollars, and that I would really like it if he had a great night, and to get home safely.
He looks at me with a face that read "dude, I am so going to heaven for this. I am practically Christ." face, and says: "Pay it forward."

Now why did he have to go and ruin the moment for me? huh? He ruined everything with that, so instead of asking him for his address to mail the money back - I just laughed and said "ah, it's good to be back." (in America, that is...)

After the Separation
A story of formerly conjoined twins, who are dealing with the recent divorce of their parents.

This girl is posting about her new life in China.

Poufbunnies

Fun stuff. A trip to the Conde Nast Building...

Last night Jeff said that he went to Ellis Island with this guy that couldnt stop singing "Immigrant Song" on the boatride over. I think that is hilarious. I would like to do that. "Come from the land of the ice and snow...." its perfect. Then we envisioned the song be played whenever the Riders of Rohan appear on the screen.
Fun stuff.

radiohead trying-to-be's: muse

The foggy countryside of Ruthin Wales. 2003.

Toby Maguire is the Tom Hanks of our generation. Has that already been said? Probably. It's so obvious.

Warning: I am currently living out a Led Zeppelin revival. So for the next two weeks I might just drop random facts about Led Zeppelin, and subject you all to Zeppelin MP3's.
So anyway, a couple of days ago I typed that I thought Peter Jackson should play Zeppelin's the Battle of Evermore during the credits. Low and behold - I just found this website about the comparisons between Zeppelin and Tolkien!!! Thrilling. Read up.

Track02.cda

My current favorite song is Over The Hills And Far Away(Page/Plant) (4:42) I was reading around and some nerd said that the Lady reference in this song is actually a direct refrence to the Ring in LOTR.

Hey lady- you got the love I need
oh Maybe- more than enough
oh Darling Darling walk a while with me
- oh you've got so much-

Many times I loved
Many times been bitten
Many times I've gazed
Along the open road.

Many times I've lied
Many times I've listened
Many times I've wondered
How much there is to know.

Many dreams come true
And some have silver linings
I live for my dream
And a pocketful of gold.

Mellow is the man
Who knows what he's been missing
Many many men
Can't see the open road.

Many is a word
That only leaves you guessing
Guessing 'bout a thing
You really ought to know
You really ought to know

There are those who read and quote,
and there are those who think and make quotes.

Felicia makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

While I was in Liverpool, I had the opportunity to attend the opening reception for the "Sex, Lies, and Videotape" show at the Tate Gallery. The show was absolutely captivating - showing famous works by some of my favorite artists Yves Klein, and Joseph Beuys.
Anyway. Yoko Ono had an installation there called "imagine peace." Basically she covered a white room with various maps from around the world. In the center of the room are stamp pads on a pedestal with stamps that read "imagine peace". I diligently stamped Kenai, Alaska.
Before you enter the room there is a table with a bucket full of white "imagine peace" pins, and three documents:
1. "Imagine Peace" by Yoko Ono
2. "Document of Nutopia" by John Lennon and Yoko Ono
3. "Peace Event for John Lennon" by Yoko Ono.
The third document is scheduled for February 18th, so I will write more on that when the time nears.

So. Since today is the company Thanksgiving lunch, I was thinking it would be a good idea to spread the word. So I apporpriately dressed in black, and am wearing a fun "imagine peace" pin. For those of you that work with me - I have made copies of the first two documents, and they are at my desk if anyone is interested in picking up a copy for themselves.

CORRECTION: You can submit your comments on the designs by clicking here: www.imagineny.org.


I would like to urge everyone to please check out the World Trade Center Memorial finalists now showing their work downtown at The Winter Gardens at the World Financial Center. I don’t see any place for the general public to vote – but it would still be cool to at least see what is up for consideration. So far, my favorite is “Passages of Light,” the cloud representing a tear in the sky – however I highly doubt that will win the competition. I predict that “Reflecting Absensce” with 30ft deep pools will win the competition.

Here are images from my Favorite:

I would like to propose that Peter Jackson play Led Zeppelin's "The Battle of Evermore" while the credits role during the finish of the best trilogy in the history of filmmaking. Do you think he has cut the background music on the credits yet? Perhaps I should shoot him a memo.

I had a moment on the plane, where I looked around and said "damn, I wouldn't change a thing right now." Then I was thinking back on my trip, and here are two moments where, if someone said: "well, if you could change just one more thing to make this magic, what would it be?" and I would say: "nothing".

1. Lounging on the airplane over the Atlantic. Three seats to myself. Nice warm meal in my tummy. Knitting pastel ribbed scarf. Listening to track 8 on Some Devil.
- I felt so independent and free. Feeling nothing to worry about, and no one worrying about me. Thrilling, really.

2. Looking at the Welsh countryside from the side of a hill, in the fog.
- Reminded me of the hikes we used to go on in Alaska after work. We would hike with the soul purpose of reaching that point on the mountain where there was no audible noise. We would lay on our backs, and listen to our breathing - in some cases holding our breath to hear the pureness and vigor that nothingness can give.

I would have liked to have spent more time in the hills. I fear that I am a nomad at heart, and wonder how much longer I will be here in NYC.

Is it just me, or mere coincidence that I have scheduled my last three vacations to coincide with the New York Double Feature?

Here is a poem from the New Yorker that caught my attention today. (this is a big deal, because I NEVER read the NYer poems...)

A WREATH by Ben Sonnenberg

The leaves hid your face.
I cut them, to get near you.
When I'd cut the last one, you disappeared.
Then I made a wreath.
Who to give it to? No one.
So I put it on.

art lovers.

This is a picture of an old man watching the rain in Liverpool.

GE and Holland...

This just in from MOM:

To: anise
From: Mom

quit writing bad words ... especially the ones that start with F !! I will wash your mouth out with soap if I see it again young lady... remember you are a lady!!!

Have to go.. hope you had fun in England

Love ya tons,
Mom

Here you go Andy... Cheers.

"The future is coming." -Andy. Liverpool. 2003.

People of the Earth. I am crossing the Atlantic today and will be visiting Manchester, Liverpool, Amsterdam and am thinking about stopping by Stonehedge for the weekend. Full picture essay upon my return.

Here are the Hair lyrics to the song appropriately titled Manchester England.

Manchester England England
Across the Atlantic Sea
And I'm a genius genius
I believe in God
And I believe that God
Believes in Claude
That's me that's me

Claude Hooper Bukowski
Finds that it's groovy
To hide in a movie
Pretends he's Fellini
And Antonioni
And also his countryman Roman Polanski
All rolled into one
One Claud Hooper Bukowski

Now that I've dropped out
Why is life dreary dreary
Answer my weary query
Timothy Leary dearie

Oh Manchester England England
Across the Atlantic Sea
And I'm a genius genius
I believe in God
And I believe that God
Believes in Claude
That's me (that's he)
That's me (that's he)
That's me (that's he)
That's me

This is how cool of a co-worker I am:

Adam arrives at work.

Yo. did you see that article in the post?

No. what happened.

dude - there is a video going around of paris hilton fucking.

oh yeah - i have it right here. do you want me to send it to you?

uh, sure?

And that, my friend. That is how cool of a co-worker I am.

Overheard at Starbucks:

Hi, how can I help you?

Do you guys have pumpkin scones?

We sure do.

I would like one please.

Anything to drink?

No.

Okay, that will be $1.85. (buttons, rings, dings, drawer opens, closes – hands scone over)

Thanks. Hey. Why are you guys wearing halos?

(boy fumbles, embarrassed to be 32 and working at Starbucks, unknowing of the real reason why he is wearing a halo over his baseball Starbucks cap. Secret? He sneaks Starbucks snacks in the back room.) Well, it’s a Christmas thing I guess.

Oh. Right.

Last night I watched a movie about a guy raised by Elves, who goes on a trek to find his biological father. The movie is called Elf, and is very funny. I noticed something worth noting:
There was a book in the biological father's office titled THE SEA KING.

I wish it were still mainstream to take a ship across the Atlantic.
Seems so Romantic.
Ships crossing the Atlantic.

I would like to give a shout out to all of the HOT Lehman Brother Employees that run down to get their afternoon sandwich at Pranzo Deli on 50th btw. 7th and 6th. You all make my lunch break entirely enjoyable. Your cologne, your height, your expensive shoes and the way you always have some kind of toothpick or piece of gum in your mouth, altogether equal a break worth breaking for.
In all my pathetic truth, I find myself waking up and getting dressed in the morning not for the purpose of going to work; but for the soul purpose of ordering sandwiches at Pranzo.... I digress....

For some reason I am feeling an obsession with Kansas City on the horizon... Anyone up for a trip to Kansas City for the holiday's?? hahah.

I think I may be obsessed because I was watching a show about the time Count Basie moved to Kansas City. Then this morning I was reading more in A Moveable Feast, and Ernest writes about his time at the Kansas City Star.
Or it might have been all of those references to Kansas City while I was watching LOTR last night. Go figure.

For some reason, Jessica's November Issue doesn't really compare to Britney's October Issue...

I just got on the elevator, and there was this middle aged fellow staring straight ahead, with no buttons pushed.
So then I was like "huh."
And then I thought about how fun it would be to take the elevator up and down during my break. I was thinking it would also make a cool collage to snap a picture at every floor.
Then maybe it might be fun to just go around the city riding elevators. Like when I was a temp - I would ask for really short jobs - so I could see every building and elevator in Midtown. Of course I never fully accomplished that feat - but it's still cool to walk by a building, and know what the inside looks like.
Anyway - back to my elevator - that might be a good idea for a break.
Riding the elevator up and down, down and up.

My favorite picture of the moment. Courtesy of Brigitte Lacombe for The New York Times.
I mean basically if I can just have a moment of pure shallowness? I would have to say - isn't Jude Law what every man ought to look like? He really is stunning my palette. I could look at him all day. I guess I will hang this by my desk and do just that.
What does that make me??
An Appreciator. (that is not a word.)

I would like to make a very bare movie about a young black man who finally receives his family's 40 acres and a mule; proceeding an Uncle's violent death.
The movie would have 5 characters tops; be shot in a soft pastel/yellow tint, and very slow moving.

I went to another Burlesque show on Saturday. It wasn't as raunchy or dark as I thought it should have been. For some reason I wanted to see blood, dirty hair and something broken. I wanted the music to be more basic tin pan alley. just a few clanks on an empty pot, cigarette dangling from lipstick lips.
I was thinking about starting a troupe of tap dancing fat girls. But it feels like that has already been done somewhere. Maybe it is stuck in my brain because of the hippos from the pastoral Symphony in Fantasia.

Along the lines of dance - I would like to choreograph a baroque ballet to The Beatles "All the Piggies" song on the White Album. I started making up the dance in the party house in East Hampton. It originally involved water ballet - but then I thought the dance might be more effective if set in the park.
Sounds like something you might see on cable's ARTS channel. Fringey.

Friday afternoon, I purchased A Moveable Feast for 81 cents. On the fourth page, the last owner had cesspool underlined.

I am excited to watch "Dreamers". I once ran into Michael Pitt in Times Square. I turned to him and said "I never do this, but I just wanted to tell you that you were amazing in Hedwig."
Because he was.
He looked at me. His girlfriend scowled.
I walked away.

Little do the Mr. and Mrs. Kerschitzky know... I caught poor Mendel surfing the internet for naked girls, while I was babysitting.

This morning's conversation with Doug:

Wait, one thing. Why do you hate London?

I just never got that city. I don't get it. I don't see how it fits together. I am a Paris and Rome girl.

Interesting. Samuel Johnson once said, "When a person gets tired of London, they are tired of life."

Gosh. I'm feeling tired.

I feel that way about New York.

Me too.

New york is like no other place. It is like Oz.

Nice.

I celebrated my 19th birthday with a bunch of middle aged hippies at a fish camp in the village of Egegik, Alaska.

That makes me feel so Benedict Allen.

Bloggeratti

New find! This Day in Music History. Click it baby!

Ladies. Planet Earth's living Prophet (his name is Gordon) would like you to read this message.

Is it an offense when someone exclaims: "You are my Allison Porchnik." ??

Is it strange to anyone else that money from McDonalds is now funding NPR? I guess I am okay with that. As long as they don't start advertising for McDonalds or anything vile like that.

Ms. Piano Teacher Whose Name I am happy to Have Forgotten:
Behind your back I practiced Bartok Microcosmos.
-Anise

I refreshed and viola. All this new stuff.
-David Gemmell

This week I am going to spend 10 dollars to see Rosenquist. Hopefully that money will go towards a much needed can of spackle for the poor deteriorating guggenheim gem.

This painting peers over the second story window sill of the Flowers Gallery on Madison Avenue. You can see her eyes and forehead from the Madison Ave bus. It's kinda creepy.

Epcot is an acronym for "Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow".
My personal acronym for Epcot is "Everything here can be PurChased On canal sTreet."

THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK:

1. Sarah Vowell should be at the top of every list. This week, she will be reading her short stories here. Ho Hum. If only Ira Glass were there as well.

2. Apparently this week is Print Week New York 2003. The deal benefits my fave place - Printed Matter - so it's gonna cost yah 25 smackers...

3. Fans of Wim Wenders should go here.

4. An exhibition just opened on the first, called Fast Forward: Twenty Years of White Rooms. No, it has nothing to do with Emily Dickenson's white phase. It has to do with the fab gallery White Columns. Ya'll should skip over and check it out cuz it features one of my fave artists Mr. John Currin. Add it to the list, Santa.

On a side note, I think every girl goes through a white phase of some sort. I have my theory as to why. The bulk of that theory having to do with her state of virginity. I also wonder at about what age the white phase typically happens?

I have always wanted to start a short story with the following sentence:
One year ago she was loosing her virginity.

The Disney movie Brother Bear was released this week. I am excited about this because one of the characters in the movie is named after my hometown!!!! KENAI!!!! Joaquin Phoenix is the voice. This means that if the movie is successful - I will no longer have to explain my town name - I will just say "Kenai, like in Brother Bear" and everyone will understand the pronunciation, and stop looking at me and my third eye. I will finally fit in with the rest of Pop Culture. People will think I am cool. Everyone will go to my parties. I will receive 100 hits a day on my website. I will have 8 nicknames. I will have three dates per week. And last but not least - I will win the Customer Care award at work.

Water reflection is to Alaska like Glass reflection is to New York.

The city didn't really know how to smell this morning. I sensed confusion on the way to work. Well, I smelled confusion. It was like the street scent didn't know whether it should be hot or cold - so it was just kind of hanging in the middle there between muggy hot, and crispy cold. I would compare it to how Jane must have felt everytime she had to choose between salt and pepper - pre "Crazy Mixed Up Salt."

The style of the Floridian Rabbi will never cease to amaze me. The way they dress in white, the way they gel their hair. I would have to say that the creature is the closest we will get to seeing an Angel on Earth.

This week's office view of Central Park! (Compare with last week)

Three tips for the modern woman:
1. Only date a man who owns both a tuxedo, and a pair of hiking boots.
2. Forget how to do laundry.
3. Never knit with acrylic.

My tribute to Andy Goldsworthy:

East River. uh, around 9pm, on October twenty six.

Last night the East River was the same tempo as Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3 in D minor, op.30. It was a trip, that's for sure.

END OF THE LINE. Week 1. Train A :

My roof last night:


Frank and I.

View of Central Park from my desk this morning:

I always thought Elliot Smith was the Nick Drake of our generation.

apparently i am mother theresa...

I am excited to report that I am no longer a virgin of the bee sting. Saturday morning, at approximately 7:24am, I was stung by a wasp.
The funny part: I was raised in the dead of nature, with two brothers who basically played with bees. I was stung for the first time, on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, in a fifth floor of a walkup. By a WASP. Get it? wasp. get it?

I have to laugh at the fact that every time I meet a new girl, and we are on the path to a great friendship - that "now we are best friends" breaking point is 3 a.m. on a Sat. night, smoking cigarettes, and listening to Tori Amos (or Joni Mitchell). Its so so so incredibly hair-in-rollers stupid, but 100% true. Ask any girl you know.

If i have to read another Chuck Klosterman article...

today i superglued the moth holes in my cashmere sweater. at 6:30am, it just seemed more efficient than sewing them shut, and so far, no one has said anything.

My brothers always told me that b.b. guns are incapable of killing humans. I guess they were right.

Sometimes it freaks me out that my office building creeks on the 32 floor when the wind blows. I try to block it out. Just like I try to block out the idea I have that my computer might spontaneously combust.

For a total of 4 bucks and a plane ticket to Texas, you can check out the new Texas Prison Museum in Huntsville, TX.
excerpt from NY Times:
>>Asked how he had reacted to executions, he paused. "I don't know the right word to use," he said. "The first time was just, well, awesome, but not in a good way. They got easier as they went along, but they never got easy."<<

This picture of Texas has always reminded me of the road Tom Hanks drove to return the Fed Ex box in Cast Away.

this quote pretty much sums up how I feel about my writing skills:
"If I could tell a story in words, I wouldn’t need to lug a camera" – Lewis Hine

Well, I love living alone, but there are two things that always make me rethink living alone. (or at least keep me awake all night with all the lights on, watching Say Anything for the 74th time.)
1. Bugs.
2. Wind Storms.

about number 1: Last night I found a bug in my apartment, and for the first time actually had the courage to buy those bug compartment things that you are supposed to put around the house. Congratulate me. Once, I had to beg Laurie (my roommate one year ago) to leave a bar, come back home, and kill this huge water bug that I saw on our wall. To my surprise, she did just that (well, she left the bar. but then we never found the bug - thus making my state of panic, and state of hallucination). She tried comforting me with stories about how she had to kill bugs when she lived down South. I remember not really sleeping that night, and being embarrassed because we had known each other about 4 days. The bug thing always breaks in the roomies.

about number 2: I love storms. My Mom always tells me that my Dad and I used to get excited by thunder and lighting, and go out onto the balcony and watch the storm together. I remember doing this too - but it's always fun to re-hear stories from Moms. When it's raining I will usually keep the window open - so I can hear the rain. I just don't like windy storms when I am alone. There is no one there to comfort, and that of course makes the wind gusts sound like burglars, and giant sized Bugs, and killer tomatoes attacking the apartment at 2am. Keeps me stone cold wide-awake every time.

Everyone, the moment you have all been waiting for. Robin has written again!!

I would like to do an installation in Times Square involving sounds of nature and the display monitors. I envision all of the monitors showing one large scene shot in Montana - like a huge panoramic vista. All of the cars and pedestrians will be silenced. All we will hear would be recorded wind.
Or in another installation - I would do the ocean. With the sound being the waves of course.
The installation party would be in the center of the Square, happen at sunset, and everyone would be dressed in black.
The inspiration would be attributed to how the screens looked so eerie during the blackout, and the Lehman Brother's Building Screens. There would be speculation that the work was attributed to the my unending homesickness for Alaska. But I would never confirm such a matter - wanting to keep that to myself.
The press would interview my Alaskan relatives and ask questions concerning my relationship with nature and modern science. My parents would tell of the observation journal I kept of the squirrels in the backyard, and that other than that - she was fairly normal - biked around the neighborhood a lot. kept to herself.
The title has yet to be decided. Electric Vista is too cheesy.

Well my favorite band of 2003 - Queens of the Stone Age has released a new one this week. The album is called The Desert Sessions, and features my fave female - Polly Jean Harvey.
Here is a picture of Mark. He is equally obessed with Queens, and looks a little like Josh Homme.

Dear Miss Modern Age & the people that make up the reason why you always refer to yourself as "we." :

When I saw your site yesterday, my first reaction was "what?! o god, how retarded." Also, not putting a link to take the readers to the archives? Yawn. You had a great site. Try not to get caught up in the "Its Just Not Cool to be Appreciated and Recognized" movement. Just do your thing. Obviously people enjoyed your thing, and there is nothing wrong with that. How upsetting and borderline annoying.

Confused reader with a furrowed brow,
Anise

In other news: My roommate James opened my door drunk again at 3am. My coworker just pointed out that "he made it all the way home... why couldnt he make those last few steps to his door??" Good point. I think I am going to send him a message CC ing "roommatefreaks@nypd.com" to get his attention that he can't keep barging into my room drunk at 3am. It aint right.

I just woke up from a dream where Elijah Wood was missing. He had been captured by Lord of the Rings fanatics. The ransom was something like the actual ring used in the movies - something like that. The captors were working in Middle Earth codes, and leaving clues around the country as to his whereabouts. When I left the dream, The Today Show was interviewing Woods' roommate - the chubby hobbit - (the one that everyone thinks Elijah is screwing), and giving the update on the latest clue. Very interesting dream. So interesting in fact, that I was 15 minutes late to work.

My brother and I leave concert messages for each other. This week, he beat out any message I have ever left him, by recording The Flaming Lips covering Seven Nation Army. Congrats Joshie.

Sometimes when I read other people posts - instead of hearing the author's voice, I hear that historical voice belonging to the narrator of all the Ken/Ric Burns documentaries. The voice has become my default voice, when I cannot hear the author's voice. Try this with me. Read my post again, and then state the author & date at the end just like the narrator. Its fun.
narrator drill:
{some kind of orchestral/American spiritual music slowly fades}
Sometimes when I read other people posts - instead of hearing the author's voice, I hear that historical voice belonging to the narrator of all the Ken/Ric Burns movies.
Anise. 2003."
{same orchestral/American spiritual music ensues}
Did it work?

My favorite movie trailers:
LOTR TROTK
elephant
love, actually
anything else
big fish
american splendor

On Saturday I am going to view art from the Middle Ages with a boy who sports the last name of "Pagan".
I see that being incredibly appropriate.

Request to Bloggers: Stop referring to yourself using the universal "we". Me thinks this is borderline schitzo.

Oh boy, its full fledge fall in New Hampshire. I feel a leaf peeking road trip on the horizon.

This is pretty fun. Incredible to realize that aside from midtown, things have not really changed since 1935.

One thing I love about the Upper East Side is riding the bus with the old people. I love that they talk to me, and ask me questions. I love when they just state their opinion and tell me all about how it used to be.
Also, living uptown during the autumn months is such a treat because of the close proximity to Central Park. I was thinking that no other neighborhood in the city has made me feel more like a New Yorker. It was after all, the first neighborhood in Manhattan built specifically for residents. I am glad to be back on the Upper East Side, and am shocked to find myself even thinking those words.

Forget Madison Square Garden, The Merce Cunningham Dance Company will be dancing to Radiohead and Sigur Ros – live of course, and of course the tickets are sold out. The piece they will be performing is called Split Sides, the venue is the Brooklyn Academy of Music.

Why is Dr. Phil telling America how to lose weight?

Well, I just joined Tribe.net, in hopes of finding a few good pieces of antique furniture. Tribe.net is a place where people trade what they have, or advertise for swaps. Stuff like that. Its like Craigslist and Friendster mixed up. I am excited about being back in my cute apartment, and would like to fill it with nice furniture. Here is a guy that I found on the network, that was advertising his love for shoes at Bootism.com.

One more month until Elf the Movie!!! Check out the trailer! Sign up for Email Updates!

Dudes. So I have been fiddling around with Robin's iPod, and have to say that I am now addicted. I was at the bookstore this weekend trying to find a comprehensive book about site design, and the like - when I stumbled upon a cool book about iPod secrets. Needless, I felt like this some was something I should report on for all my iPod lovers out there. Here is where you can get the book. Its great. It shows pictures of the author-nerd-geek-o-rama taking apart his pod, and showing you how to jack the harddrive up to 4 gigs. God I love that last sentence.

Other than being filmed in the PATH Station, "The Hardest Button to Button" video does not really make me satisfied. I think that they should have filmed it in a house in the midwest showing a couple fighting, trying to button the hardest button.

Yesterday afternoon, I got stranded on my roof. The cops had to get us down. I felt like a cat.

a couple photo's i took on my lunch break today:

I just saw the Hanson Brothers on the corner of 7th and 58th street. All three were arguing with their Dad about something. It made me smile.

Cream cheese can really make or break a bagel.

Today my favorite song is Viscous World. That would be track 3, my friend.

I just heard that George Plimpton died. I know Robert Palmer died today as well, but I have to say that I am more saddened to hear of Plimpton's passing.

What is this site becoming? The Who-Do-You-Feel-More-Sad-About-When-Two-Relatively-Famous-People-Die-In-The-Same-Day Site?

Have no fear - I will not let that happen. However I will tell you a story that I always tell to friends visiting the city - or to friends who are J-walking. It has to do with George Plimpton.
After Sept. 11th PBS did that New Yorkers Reaction show. Beautifully done of course, and full of comments on what it takes to be a NYer, and how everyone felt. I remember George Plimpton came on the screen and started talking about how he thought the quintessential sign of a New Yorker was jaywalking.
I always tell that small bit to visitors, or if there is nothing to say when I am with someone, walking down the street.
George Plimpton also attended Robin's 7th birthday party. Of all of the guests that I should have been impressed with - I was most impressed with George. He was chauffeur for his twin grandchildren, and he mingled and chatted like a champ.

I love figuring out lyrics and stuff like that. One particular chorus that has always made me wonder, is from "What a Good Boy" by the Barenaked Ladies:

“This name is the hairshirt I wear
And this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair
This song is the cross that I bear
Bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me”

After reading it I would always kind of stop and think, “hmm, the hairshirt thing is a little weird.”
In a totally different topic - I started reading The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown the other day. This book is the first book I have read since reading "Christine" by Stephen King, that actually makes me so scared at night, that I lay frozen in my bed. Its a good thing I wear diapers. Moving on. The author writes about the Opus Dei sect of the Catholic Church, among other things. Apparently people of that sect are required to wear a spiked belt (called a cilice) around their thigh for about two hours a day to remind them of the pain Christ suffered for all of us heathens. I find this fascinating. So, this morning I was dinking around the Internet in search of a picture of the device. (I have yet to find a picture,) but I did find out that in addition to cilices; hairshirt’s are another kind of bodily mortification used by Catholics. The hairshirt was made of Goats hair in hopes to aid the wearer in avoiding temptations of the flesh. Seeing the word hairshirt made me think of the song by BNL. Also – just as a side note – REM wrote a song called hairshirt, on the album Green.
So I think BNL is trying to say is that the girl they are singing about is so awesome that they are willing to torture themselves in honor of her. That is the short hand version for now.

Last night was the opener for this season's Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Add another line to the list of TV show addictions - this show looks great. Check out the gauntlet Trading Cards! While you are at it, check out Hot Johnny Mosley!
People that I am glad to see on the show:
-Adam from New Orleans. Why we are still obsessed with his virginity is beyond me.
-Nathan from Seattle. I had a crush on Nathan. I wish they would bring back Irene.
-Abe from 2003 Road Rules. I was so pissed when Abe got kicked off the road. This just goes to show that whiny fat kid just how much he was a whiny fat kid.
-Rachel from Real World NYC2. I have so been wondering what ever happened to this girl. Now we can finally see. I wonder if her mom is going to call her on the road. That would be cool.
-Theo from some random Road Rules. I have always been a fan of raw Theo footage. This guy is pure testosterone. The episodes are hinting at him and Elka hooking up - I can't say I am a fan of that yet. I kind of want Theo to be with that blonde girl from Real World Seattle. Or Irene.
People that I could do without seeing again on any MTV shows:
-Coral. She already won last season. No fair.
-Norman from NYC. I don't get the draw.
-Mike from NYC2. I am glad he grew his hair out, but I fear this time around will be the same deal. We are going to watch him get drunk, and stomp around the house shouting about "The Miz". Snore. Seen it before. Miz: People will get pissed at you, and tell you to shut up. Coral will come over and try to defend your actions, then Abe will come over and start hitting on you.

Tonight at 7pm, Rufus Wainwright will be in Chelsea (no shocker there) promoting his new album - "Want One". I have high expectations, and a feeling a little apprehension for the new album because since Poses, the dude has been through rehab and back. So we'll see how that changed the music. So far I like track 1.
Rufus Wainwright reminds me of Thanksgiving 2001. I was sent out to pick up some random spice at Whole Foods in Greenwhich, Connecticut - basil if I remember correctly. I ended up getting lost (I have to admit, kind of intentionally), and spent two hours driving back roads in Connecticut, while "Poses" blasted from the stereo.
I like the way I discovered Rufie too. I was at Borders, looking for a mix tape opening song. The tape was a compliation of track 8's, so I went up to every listening machine and listened to track 8. The second I heard the first drum taps of Rebel Prince, I knew that I had my opener. I think I listened to that CD straight for two months.

Today I noticed that WireImage made a big mistake and named John Stewart - Jon Edwards!!! hahahah.

This is what I was doing exactly three years ago. My how time flies!

Hey Ya! Greyhound don't float on water.
Dudes. My blog don't have no more ads. I can put pictures of my own. No more fotolog action.
The new Outkast song properly expresses my enthusiasm. Lets get excited.

This season's Sorority Life is highly painful to watch. For some reason (probably attributed to the 'human' in me) I want all of the girls to be hot little rich chicks. Instead what I got were 8 incredibly ugly prepubescent middle class girls, who left a bad taste in my mouth before I went to bed.
Luckily, MTV has made up for the sorority mishap via the 'Newlyweds'. I want to hang out with the editors, and be the ultra nerd that recaps every detail of show. Basically, watching Jessica and Nick makes me laugh like seeing the billboard for a UPN show called "The Mullets" makes me cry.

Sadly however, my side of the office just got into a yelling match about how no one thinks Jess and Nick are going to last. We are placing bets. I fear that I am the only one that is wishing for them to last. I wanna believe.

What I have to say might be a shocker to some, but I am finally going to admit that I am secretly VERY chivalrous. I notice everything attributed to chivalry, and am constantly taking note. I first noticed my love of chivalry in college, and kept a mental list of all the awkward lanky boys whom had been taught right and wrong by their mothers and tended to revel in their company. Its not embarrassing for me to say that I notice daily gestures - however, it has been highly embarrassing for me to admit that I LOVE every Princely act. I mean, who doesn't want to be treated like a Princess? I love getting on trains first, I love not having to touch doors or buttons, I love not waiting in line at the bar. In the past (every day up to this one), to cover the embarrassment, I reach for doors, buttons, and knobs before the guy - because I don't want him thinking that I am not up with the times - or am snobby. Rest assured - its all over. I am changing my ways.
This morning I found relief from my inner battle with chivalry. I was just reading SheLovesNY.com, and found the etiquette section for gentlemen. Upon reading some of it - (the taxi part was a little extensive) I found myself totally agreeing with the author, and wishing for the perfect etiquette follower as described. From this point forward, I am throwing out all reservation to withhold my love for chivalry - and will only seek that well-brought-up someone that is willing to divulge, so I can in turn, indulge.

I think it would be fun to play a little game everytime 4 or more people are waiting for an elevator in the elevator lobby. I would call it 'Musical Elevators.'
The object of the game is to pick the elevator that you think is going to open, and get in it first.
So, when you notice a group of people waiting quietly - you all of a sudden shout "PICK AN ELEVATOR!" and everyone will run to the elevator that they think is going to open first, and stand in front of the door.
The person who is standing in front of the elevator door that opens, wins!
Let's get playin!

Bill Gates is giving NYC public schools 51 million dollars. I think that is great. Yahoo for Gates!

This is the coolest thing I have seen all week. What a great idea.

When i think about the upcoming fall season... I think I am most excited about movies. Theatres are always an escape from the weather. In the summer - we will watch anything to get out of the heat, so we will gladly drop 10 on shit for movies. However in the winter its all about being warm and being entertained to the fullest. I am so excited about LOdoubleTR TROTK. I am way psyched about that the most. I have already seen the other movie I was way psyched about: Lost in Translation. It was nice. It made me want sushi.

Saturday morning I noticed a one legged pigeon.

LOTR in CP 2003:
I am way excited about the fireworks in Central Park tonite. The New Yorker said that they will be a once in a lifetime type deal. Something that the future will ask about. I guess the whole park is going to be one big firework. I am excited. I haven't decided whether I should watch from my office windows - or got into the park, and experience it that way. Hmmm. Decisions....

Why am I way more upset about John Ritter's passing? I thought he would be around forever. What a mainstay.

Seeing the date: 'Sept. 11th' in the realtime sense - ie: on my phone, on the news, on the computer, has been giving me the chills all day. Everytime I see it, I freeze up. Why? I think its because when we talk about that day, we already have it in our brains that we are goign to talk about that day - so there is no shock involved. However when we see it used in a normal everyday setting - its like a shock/surprise - like when I look at my phone, I think "oh!" and get all freezed up, and then relax.