This Thanksgiving I successfully cooked two Cornish hens* (with plum sauce and mango chutney to boot). I was really excited about cooking. I never really cook, yet feel like I am fairly decent when all is said and done. I have made one turkey in my life, and it was 3rd of July, 2002. I was cooking for about 4 congressmen and their wives in East Hampton.
My boss:
Anise why don’t we have turkey for lunch?
Okay – I will go buy a roasted turkey.
No, I have a turkey in the icebox.
Oh. I have never cooked a turkey.
Well, I am sure you can figure it out. It can’t be that difficult. (she was kind of an ass.)
So figure it out I did, and to my chagrin, the house was in uproar of how wonderful my turkey turned out. At first I thought they were pulling my leg, but a year and a half later, I realized that all of the praise was actually intended for me and my famous turkey.
This past Saturday I was telling Doug about my Cornish Hen success, and he says (while rubbing his knuckles – something he often does)
“Well Anise, nothing really holds a candle to that God damned turkey you cooked last summer.”

*The Hens were awesome. All of us are having Christmas dinner together as well, and I have been given the chore of cooking meat again. Whewee.