Robin conversation of the day.

For some reason today has been dragging on. We had finished every task before us, consumed dinner, and were just lounging around her room.
She is not allowed to have internet on the ibook in her room - so I get bored easily if she is entertaining herself, and I have nothing to read. I am sure if I was a mom – this would be the point where I would go bake, or read the bible...

Me: hey. Go get that black laptop from the other room and bring it in here.
Robin: okay. Why, because it has internet?
Yeah. (she starts to run off.)
NO WAIT – if your dad sees you carrying the laptop, what are you going to tell him?

That we are having a 'computer party'.
oscar comments.

1. swank's dress didn't fit the shoulders. i kept wanting her to adjust.
2. julia's boobs looked amazing. i think i saw her veins - they were so full!
3. favorite dress was scarlett's.
4. renee needs to get over jack white.
5. does oprah always have to cause a scene? do we need to be reminded that she's black?


Pretend like I was a guest writer on that crappy new(old) Beastie Boys album where all they do is shout out things about NYC & world trag-ed-y, in order to make themselves look like aging dorks. Mine is specific to new yorkers hailing from India.

Yo Indians! Why you gotta make da food so spicy??!
My mouths on fire, and I'm feeling kinda dicey
Wassup with dis dessert cuz it tastes like pine-sol
If we pee in your cab, do you kill the germs with lysol?

sep tember
(pause pause pause)
Turbans went flyin'
Turbans went flyin'

deec ember
(pause pause pause)
Taj Mahal was cryin'
Taj Mahal was cryin'

Favorite NYC Bowling Palace.
I wish you could hear the sound of this place. Its a two-floored bowling alley! I have never seen that before. So you get the sounds of bowling from up top, meshed with the sounds of bowling from down below.
I wanted to make a tape like "The Dudes" where he is laying on the rug, listening to the sounds of pins falling & balls rolling.
But of course I forgot my recorder.
But not my bowl.
sherri will be on the food network sometime this week. she decorates cakes in Baltimore. she will be carving a cat out of cake, and wearing a skirt she bought after I dragged her into a Madison church bazaar. That’s my sherri. Carving cake cats & wearing skirts.
Sherri also told me that California is all about good food and good wine. I was lamenting about eli's.

eli's homage to tiebaud.

eli's homage to sir paul mc cartney.

did I ever tell you about the time I worked in east Hampton for a summer and couldn't get the nerve to throw a lobster in the pot?

"oh anise - why don't you go get lobsters for everyone?"
kind of how she said "oh anise just make a turkey for tonight's dinner."
done deal.
so I jumped in the Tracker with the dave matthew tape & headed to the fish market.

if dave matthews sponsored an ipod like u2 did, what color would the ipod be?

blue & red, right?

at the fish market. I examined all the kinds of tartar sauces, & wished I could get oysters or bluefish instead. but no. I had to ask for 5 alive lobsters.

I told them to triple bag it with locks & chains. if you know me at all you know that its against my religion to ask for a bag. but I am freaked out by lobster spider legs, and beaty eyes. I was afraid that if a lobster got out of the bag while I was driving, it might just take me down, and drive the car to Montauk so it could crawl back to sea.

whatever this is getting long winded.

I brought the lobsters home and announced to the house & staff that "if anyone wanted lobster for dinner, I will get the kettle ready, but I will not be touching any lobsters or even getting them out of the car. feel free to boil your own lobster."

being an agreeable employee up until that moment, the house was a little shocked. so they did as I said, and I in turn grabbed becky & a bottle from their stash, and we snuck out to the beach.
the end.


since I would much rather host thursday night poker nights & encourage drugs & dancing, for the next 4 weekends, I am slowly giving all of my babysitting gigs to other, more responsible ladies. the first one I am letting go is Babyface Ben. I really never talked about him on this BLOG but he was a big part of my "anti-atm" fund. or shall I say his parents were large contributors. ben was sweet as all babies are, & he has a smile that consumes his face. we met this summer when he couldn't walk or talk. now he's walking & saying "no", "baff" & "jesse" (his dog). In his free time, he enjoys tv, eating, basketball & of course the dancing elmo doll. bye ben & family & THANKS.


he asked me "what are you going to miss the most one month from now?"
All I could think at the time was "you!" Which is true, but seriously I am going to miss impromptu nights like last night.

it's one of those mornings where everyone is late. I am actually a little concerned. but more happy than concerned.

I mean really. one person is here.

the insanely hyper overnight girl needs to drop it a couple notches in order for me to not start vomiting.

it's one of those mornings where I send emails like this:

James -
Nevermind the mess when you get home. Things got a little hairy last night. I'll be around to pick up the mess tomorrow.

tomorrow. saturdays are so delicious. how many times do we tell ourselves and others that we will be around to pick up the mess tomorrow.

and then never follow through. the filth just sitting there.
the slobber drying.
phonecall never made.
underwear changed.

Sofia blanc de blancs. it comes with the worlds coolest straw - expandable & flexible. I served it in frozen wine glasses.

Annie Hall was on mute. scenes we stopped to laugh & recite:
1. Beekman theatre
2. Universe expanding
3. Allison porchnick - me to guest in the kitchen "IT’S THE ALLISON PORCHNICK PART! GET IN HERE!"
4. score coke in LA
5. Paul Simon saying "jack & angelica"
6. Annie & spider.
7. annies dad & his drink.

usually guests make my table look like this

or this

last night my table looked like this.

to me, it looks more lived-in. more like people over the age of 27.
27. The age where you kind of question alcohol.
you've done it. you know what its gonna do.
you are okay with half the room sipping water,
and the other half not smoking.
you talk about commute patterns,
running patterns,
and bush patterns.
You've applied to random jobs & programs,
you're done slobbering on people.
you pass on young parties.
anyway. one night, it snows.
you call. they knock.


view from the plane of snowy farms.
he buys pizza all the time because, I mean, what else is he going to spend his money on.


I guess this hilary duff & Lindsay lohan grudge is the same as when britney spears and Christina agulera were grudging each other. or maybe like Katherine Hepburn & Ava Gardner.
Every girl needs an arch enemy.


yesterday in the airport I was letting my mind wander. I thought "what greater hell than being stuck in an airport, wanting to get hot & steamy; seeing nooks and crannies to sneak in, but seeing no people to sneak with?" so I went to the atm, pulled out 60, and taxied into downtown Seattle to walk it off.
In my pictures, downtown Seattle looks like White Plains. I felt no draw, or reason to live there. So that’s a relief. Cross another city off the "maybe some day" list.

One kudos for seattle - its one of those cities that has a croud of 8 lined up at Patagonia before the store opens...


Sneakin' pics of Papa.

his room.


This is Opal the dog. She is my mom's and she went on a road trip with us today to my favorite town in Alaska - Homer. Doesn't she look thrilled.
Its amusing the things your parents put around the house to remind them of you when you are not home. for instance, blog posts???
exihibit a:

exihibit b:

and then there are the fridge posts. One brother has all his sports photos, one brother had picture magnets made(!) of him drinking beer in various parts of the world. Kat & Paul made the fridge! The pic is from her tex party. what a night. i look at that and think "well my parents don't need to know all the deets of that night." and then i checked out the brothers fancy photo magnets. upon closer inspection, the front of his shirt is drenched. but again, do we need to know all the deets of his night? guess not. the fact is "hey mom. look. i am with friends and i am smiling."
Is saying “I like old people” in the same light as saying “I like black people” or “I like chinamen”. “Old” is kind of putting them in their obvious box, right? And some people who are of the older set, might get offended by that.
Maybe you should say “I like people that have 50 years more living experience” or “I like wise people”.
My papa is in a nursing home. This is NOT him pictured. We went for a visit, and my gosh if this is not a den of great pictures of life, love and spilled milk.

G-ma & I ended our lunch with a little pina colada (Cuz I’m Not Dying!) while singing “76 Trombones in the hit parade…”
I embellish.
We only made it through the first sentence of that song, before I looked up and noticed a moose was watching my every move so I stopped singing. But by golly if grandma wasn’t ready with that rat-a-tat-tat on the table.

So that was fun. My mom got a little mad that I got into a car with (and I quote) “a drunk driver”…
1 1/2 drinks ma??? Come on. Gma couldn’t finish her colada, and if I remember correctly she didn’t really scrape the bottom of that pre-game Irish coffee. But either way, in my mom’s eyes “she was drunk”.
I survived (whew) the drive with the drunk, and we made it to a town called Sol-dot-na. They have all these ice sculptures around town. I don’t know what to make of the sculptures really, because half of them are melting.

Topics covered during lunch:
1. Aunt Linda called, and said she has a lead on my yellow lab. She said the price was 200. I made a sour face. Then a. linda asked “well what is she going to do if it breaks its leg?” (This question being asked at the height of the drinking binge) So I yell out “I will take it back to a. Lindas place!” and gma was right there with me imitating a 3 legged dog, while I said “here a. Linda, you can have this dog back. Something is wrong with its leg? Well gotta run!”

2. I made a promise that one of my children (bless their poor poor hearts) will address my grandma as “gigi”. Apparently she has always wished that one of her great grand kids address her as “gigi”. I didn’t ask. I just said “well fine. My kid will call you 'gigi'.”

So the family has decided that I am to be buried in my gold converse. They love them more than I do I think & apparently the best part of my “Cuz I’m Not Dying!” story is the part where I spent $110 on gold converse from Barneys.
They really were purchased in that life-is-short fashion. I had been admiring the shoes from afar. And then when I was feeling really grey one day, I took the crosstown bus over to the Westside and got my gold shoes.
If I could have worn them to bed, I would have. I have worn them every day since. They really did work. And now serve as comic relief.
My mom said I need to get them framed. Makes it easy, because they are basically already bronzed! So anyway – I now have the shoe portion of my coffin outfit planned. Thank goodness!


Now I Know Why The Caged Bear Doesn't Growl.


this is my new office view.

i'm back in the saddle baby. I got my camera. I got my blood. and damn it all if I now have an office the same color scheme as my blog. yipee for me.


today ended one month of dark days, crying bedtimes, and cold hands.
A month ago I was told I am the carrier of X, and that it will eventually kill me.
Today I was told that I am not the carrier of X, and that there was a mixup at the hospital....

So i am not dying.
Being the soul of a body, that for one month was my worst enemy - I have to say its good to have my old body back.

What kind of lesson was this?
I appreciate more. I made grand plans to see grand things. i bought gold converse. i wore a white heart ring for myself on valentines day. i steamed artichokes and ate beets.

when i looked at the sky however, all i saw was grey.

yah know,

you get a kitchen, you hang a spice rack.
you add books one by one to your bookshelf over five years.
you borrow the car
you take two hundred pictures on new years eve
You hope he wasn't just a drunk thing.

then one day your spice rack is thrown to the floor, your broken bookshelf holds no books, the car breaks down, camera gets stolen, and yes - he was all just a drunk thing.

joke's on you.

standing there trying to make sense of everything. you just stand there. walk around. buy a ticket home. put your head on your keyboard.

letting everything get messy.

and now i am back to clean it up.

today when i look at the sky - i see the silver and gold light that i saw before. i hear the hum of the city instead of the horns.


There were errors.

I am watching a standing ovation at madison avenue. they are all standing and clapping for dogs.
Why is it called the Westminster Dog show if its held in New York each year? Why not hold it in England?

Also - I am trying to pinpoint a certain look that each dog shower sports, and the only thing I can say that they all share would be wearing sneakers with suits. They all have to wear sneakers to run around in those circles.
Other than that all dog owners look different.
Maybe most of them have brown hair. I don't see many blondes.

The Hounds are up next.


sometimes things get crazy. sometimes things are pretty mellow. I try to shoot for mellow, but all that trying makes crazy get in the way.
I like this song by Ida. Its pretty dang mellow. Its nice to listen to while laying on your bed, hands folded & resting on your torso, right ankle on top of left ankle, light shining in room, eyes fixed on ceiling, no one but you in house.


i bought a camera for myself today. i have been nothing without my camera. sometimes it makes my heart physically hurt. i see beautiful things, go and reach for my camera, and my pocket is empty.

so i have my camera back, or, i will have it back on thursday. a camera that was just like my old camera. i am picking it up on thursday by the flatiron building. picking it up on my lunchbreak because i need it to take a picture of the snow in alaska on friday.

my mom says its as high as the roof of the house.

and she also says we can make snow angels together.

now thats something someone would need a camera for.