I like to keep up with the Tour de France. Its one of those things that if no one brings up; I fail to mention. Well, I more so enjoy watching mountain biking on ESPN way more than cycling - but I can never find mountain biking shows out here, so I stick to le Tour. Here is some information about the jersey colors:
Yellow Jersey: This guy is the fastest fasty fast you will ever fast. In fact, you eat his bike dust. He is typically white, has a wife & two kids, survived cancer, originates from Texas, and his name usually starts with an L and ends with an E.
Polka-Dot Jersey: This guy is a climber. He has boulders for thighs, and originates from Lucern, Switzerland. Never mind if he starts yodeling. He is gay.
Green Jersey: Meet the sprinter. After a Mary Decker style sprinting injuring, during a national track meet in 2000, this dude's coach suggested he take up cycling to help repair the damage done to his hamstrings.
white jersey - This dude is the youngest. Probably the most pompous too. You might overhear him saying things like "dude - I could have swapped caps with Armstrong on that last hill in Bayonne." or "whatever - I had that guy chewing the leather off my bike seat in Le Tour." or "I'll show oldie what the postal service can deliver. huh huh huh."

I think Tony Hawk and Lance Armstrong should be friends.
They are both:
1. tall
2. blonde
3. white
4. giving media family/wholesome vibe
5. get shit load of money for riding wheeled contraptions.
6. are always thanking their sponsors.

However:
1. one wears spandex/one wears pants down to his knees.
2. one does tricks/one is really fast.
3. one has battled cancer
4. one has his own video game
5. one is from Texas/ the other, California
6. 4 wheels/ 2 wheels.
7. One can go to the Olympics/ the other, Venice beach.