My mom sent me a one-line message about her visit not being mentioned on my blog. I sent her a message back: "I don't feel like it." She didn't respond - so I started to feel guilty and am now going to post about my mom visiting me. The post is going to be called:

How I Learned To Sit Up Straight or All Weekend I Get To Hug My Mom.

This is a picture of my mom in 1974. I have been trying to clean it up for the past 5 months - because for some reason or another it has been damaged over the years. It has always been my favorite picture because she has long hair. It's just that simple.

Anyway - like me trying to clean this picture - my mom will be out here for Thanksgiving weekend trying to help me clean up... my (pick one) self/life/outlook.

I have been trying my very best to prepare for her visit - however, since all of my other visitors left town, I have found it monumentally DIFFICULT to get out of bed, walk, or talk. I got my hair cut last night, I divided a pile of clothes into 2 piles of dirty & clean, I plucked a few gray strands and I have been trying very hard to remember to sit up straight.

About the slouching: my mom feels so inclined to take her hand and wack my back when I slouch. This in turn makes me sit up straight. At 19 you hate that - at 27 - you say "thanks."

My mom will also help me clean up my current stale thoughts. She will either help me pack up my things, or help me realize that this is where I need to be. Wow. The pressure is on the woman in charge.

I haven't quite finished cleaning up her picture. And I really doubt that in 5 days my mom will clean up all the bits that I have let get dull and ragged. But we will both TRY. Right? Right.



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Oh wow. Don't we feel all warm and fuzzy. Do your pathetic self a favor & chuckle for the next five minutes here.
And if you live in NYC and you are equally Wes Anderson obsessed... check out the movie with me on the 8th of December here.

Thanks and have a great Giving of Thanks. Hugs your moms. Spend money. Eat the breasts of birds.

Today I bought a book I have been wanting but not lusting. "The Pleasure of my Company" by steve martin. I like steve martin and hailed his "Shopgirl" the best book of 2003. (That I had read of course.) So I went to Borders to get "He's Just Not That Into You", and walked out with "The Pleasure of my Company".

This article made me think about my first time at the Museum of Modern Art. I will be there Saturday morning to get my first glimpse - and in order to protest the 20 dollar admission fee.
The MoMA was my first museum to visit after moving to NYC. I was 19. I went to look closely at Pollack, Picasso & another fave at the time that I have since forgotten. I hadn't even made it to the second floor - I turned right after entering the lobby, and was stuck to stillness. Dumbfounded I stared ahead of me at the work of John Currin. Paintings larger than life-size. I thought "this is why I love art". I stood there, grabbed the booklet, and stood there some more. Scrutinizing the details of the lines, thinking about fashion, color, and paint. Thinking about posture, studios, and love.
From that moment and many others that followed in that museum - like the Chuck Close show in 1998 - like the Pollack that I would stare at wondering about paint and movement - like the first time I thought about only buying black clothes; I have always looked forward to my time at the Modern, and look forward to many more experiences like these.

There is nothing that will make you appreciate contacts more - than wearing your glasses for a week straight.

Yeah today the dog froze up during our walk and just stood there looking at robin & i with her back leg raised high in the air.
Not raised to pee by all means - (she is a girl) - raised in pain.
She just stood there.
I looked at Robin.
I looked at how many blocks we were away from the dogs house & owners.
I looked at Robin again. There was no way I was leaving her in the park alone with the 3-legged dog, and there was no way I was sending Robin alone in the wilds of New York City...

So we picked the dog up and walked about 20 steps.

The dog freaked and sprinted home.

Solving the problem.

So that was a fun adventure. Carrying a dog 20 steps in Central Park my comic relief for today. What fun.

Wow. iTunes has really got me in a clinch this time.

Whats a clinch?

Something that grabs you and doesn't let you go. Its a cross between a bind, a siv, and having someone hold your hands behind your back in that twisting hurting way.

Or maybe its like when Luke Skywalker & Princess Laya - Maybe Java & R2D2 were there too - were caught in that hallway with slowly closing walls, that would eventually squish them.

Thats a clinch.

iTunes has me in one right now because they have an "iTunes Original" about Jack Johnson - my favorite artist of 2004. They have commentary on songs that I already own. So to get the commentary - I am going to have to buy the album - just to hear why he wrote this and that and him and her.

I just might do it. I am in that kind of mood today. Taking taxis here and there. Buying music about this and that.

Midtown Nightmare

59 to 57
3 stops for 2 numbers
"I like to read the New Yorker on the train"
"We should really hook up that cable."
"We watch TV before going to bed. Its not like we are tv junkies"
"I only have time to read on the train"

Something you can only say if you work in a skyscraper & you see your co-worker at the bagel shop on the street before work:

See you up there.

Um, the Incredibles & Polar Express were EQUALLY awesome. I snuck into Polar Express because I knew I would never see the dang thing on a ten dollar ticket - and Robin had already seen it at the IMAX screening with her Dad. I felt a little dirty sitting there in a packed theatre, while a 3 year old stood next to me, seatless.

just kidding.

Anyway, I was almost going to get to take Robin to the screening becaus Doug has been on his deathbed - but Becky was here, and he said that wouldn't have been fair to my guest. So I agreed - and Beckster & I went out and had a night of pure fire & chains baby.
Seriously tho - The Incredibles is a good family movie. And Polar Express will bring out the kid in you.

Seriously I really love Friday's at my job. Today I have no boss, so I have been editing photos listening to Air & Dean-o.
The other night at Brandy's my friends & I got a little frisky. I loved hearing the report from my sober friend that stopped by. He said taht at one point he looked at the piano, and saw 2 pairs of legs sticking out and the piano player smiling. He said it looked like my friends were blowing the piano player. This makes me happy.
I of course remember none of that. ahhaha. The lovely lovely lovely drug gin & tequilla. Not so lovely on my mind, so here is Gentle on My Mind (i like the Dean Martin Version - but its more famously known as a Presley song:

It's knowin' that your door is always open
And you path is free to walk
That makes me tend to keep my sleeping bag rolled up
And stashed behind your couch

It's knowin' I'm not shackled
By forgotten words and bonds
And the heat stains that have dried up on some lovin'
That keeps you in the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
It keeps you ever gentle on my mind

It's not clinging to the rocks and ivy
Planted on their columns now that binds me
Or something that somebody said
Because they thought we'd fit together walking
It's just knowing that the world will not be cursin'
Or forgiving when I walk along some railroad track and find
That you're moving on the back roads
By the rivers of my memory and for hours
You're just gentle on my mind

I dip my cup of soup from a gurgling,
cracking cauldron in some train yard
I'm barely runnin' cold how
Have a dirty hat pulled low across my face
Cupped hands around the tin cans
I pretend to hold you to my breast and find
That you're wavin' from the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
Ever smiling ever gentle on my mind

Well I am happy to report that I finally sang a song at a piano bar. Its official. I can leave NYC with a no regrets. I sang River by Joni Mitchell. Here are the lyrics:

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I made my baby say goodbye

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

Today - well for the past month - I have been feeling my hair gray. I find about 1 gray hair a month now in my hair. Particularly the front part of my head in my bangs. I find small gray hairs. Maybe in one years time I will find 2 gray hairs a month.

I feel hair turning gray because it feels drier and more coarse. It makes me feel dry and old.

Sometimes I think that if I move away, then I will no longer get gray hairs because I will not be stressed. But then I go to a place like Alaska (where there is no or little stress) and see Gray hairs - so that blows that theory up the ass.

Lately I have been feeling incredibly private. I want to write things in this format - on a blog because it is easy to keep track of. I don't want to erase the whole thing tho because I have the web-address, and have a year & a half worth of thoughts on the dang thing.
But the number one reason why i want to keep this is that I am writing this more for my future. I know I have said that before. I actually mean it. And I actually feel violated that I shared it with everyone.

Especially my office. It embarrassing to me.

Anyway - So I am going to continue to post in this format - but not make it public.

Things that I don't want to forget from my weekend with the Alaska visitors:
1. Todd signing Frank Sinatra at a piano bar.
2. Jeff being able to see some Giants players at the Back Page. He is into Fantasy Football - so it made me happy that on his last night here he got the chance to watch Monday night football with real Giants.
3. Dancing on Friday & being entertained by Stuart or "Stu" as Todd was calling him all night. Having red state/blue state conversations over pizza at 4am. "Nothing like our night out with Stu!" - T.J.
4. Making everyone buy and apple and eat it in Union Square. ahah.
5. Getting ready for our day with Dean Martin & Todd singing in the background.
6. Making everyone watch Spellbound and then having to put the dang thing on pause like 8 times because we were talking to each other so much and laughing and being hyper. We ended up just shutting the movie off and looking at scrapbooks and reading old letters from Monique in high school. "Dear Anise, Why are people so strange?"
7. Moe's story about Paula Radcliff, and then SEEING her at the Letterman.
8. During our last night out - we were eating dinner at Panorama Cafe. Todd pointed toward the window and said "would you look at that!" It was the Rockefeller Christmas tree on a flatbed truck being trucked to Rockefeller center!!! What luck!
9. Seeing Moe on 1st avenue in the marathon and just going crazy. It was the best.
10. Riding the train in the morning to the Verrazano Bridge and meeting another runner who helped us with questions we had. We were so excited all day about the silly race - that I literally got the "chills" about once an hour. There is something about being in support of an activity that is ultimately "good" like supporting health and such.
11. The fitness expo at the Javitz center was really fun - Randi Marie and I got free samples, and everyone got excited about the possibility of going to Paris in April.
12. Playing tour guide - its one of my favorite things.
13. The pasta dinner the night before the race. Tony's was great. SO MUCH FOOD. ahhh.
14. Chinatown on Friday night was fun. A time when we all just kind of chatted about the day & ate great food together.
15. Monique asking David Letterman: "Oprah ran the Chicago Marathon, do you have any plans on running the New York Marathon?"

Monique ran the NYC ING Marathon on Sunday. She finished 14000 something out of 40000 with a time of 4:12. Job well done if you ask me. Some cool things that she made note of included:
1. Running through the Hasidic neighborhood in Brooklyn was especially eerie because no one was shouting - everyone was just standing there clapping. All of the children were dressed identical to the other, and the men were standing in the back while the women just stood near the front holding strollers. She also noticed that there were more twins than usual. Or maybe it was just the fact that all the children were dressed alike.
2. Running through the Bronx was the most fun because all of the black women really get into hooting and hollering. She felt famous. She had her name on her shirt (compliments of niketown) and so people would just start yelling her name like "YO GO GIRL! YOU RUN THAT MARATHON MONIQUE!!" So that must have been fun. Also - apparently they all handed out candy & chocolates in the Bronx. Fun stuff.
3. Gatorade was served every other mile. At the Gatorade stations, she said the street was literally STICKY for 1/4 a mile. She worried that she might trip on the cups that literally LINED the streets.

Todd being competative by nature, said at the expo that if Monique ran the marathon in under 4 hours, that we would all be going to Paris in April to run the marathon there.
Well she didn't finish in less than 4 hours - but since we all had so much fun together everyone is planning on meeting up next year in Florence and running the marathon there in November. Exciting.

RandiMarie: It seems like everywhere in Manhattan has low water pressure.
Anise: That's because we are all sharing.

Todd: Anise that was just great. Good one.

Responses I get when I spend the last 15 minutes of my day text messaging "Viva la BUSH !" to all of my hard-core Democratic friends...

10:38pm - Hmmmm
10:38pm - Yay shitbrains!
10:41pm - R U Serious
10:42pm - 4 more wars!
10:48pm - no thanks to eskimos
10:49pm - crackhead
10:49pm - Natzi
10:52pm - Now you sound like a true repulican
10:57pm - Civil War - lets secede
10:57pm - He will make us safer because jesus loves him
07:02am - See You In Iraq!

Aren't we all just a HOOT!

Three people sitting on a rock by a tree in a park.

The Morning After by The English Visitor.

My fave view of CP. Yesterday was absolutely bone-marrow THRILLING.