G-ma & I ended our lunch with a little pina colada (Cuz I’m Not Dying!) while singing “76 Trombones in the hit parade…”
I embellish.
We only made it through the first sentence of that song, before I looked up and noticed a moose was watching my every move so I stopped singing. But by golly if grandma wasn’t ready with that rat-a-tat-tat on the table.

So that was fun. My mom got a little mad that I got into a car with (and I quote) “a drunk driver”…
1 1/2 drinks ma??? Come on. Gma couldn’t finish her colada, and if I remember correctly she didn’t really scrape the bottom of that pre-game Irish coffee. But either way, in my mom’s eyes “she was drunk”.
I survived (whew) the drive with the drunk, and we made it to a town called Sol-dot-na. They have all these ice sculptures around town. I don’t know what to make of the sculptures really, because half of them are melting.

Topics covered during lunch:
1. Aunt Linda called, and said she has a lead on my yellow lab. She said the price was 200. I made a sour face. Then a. linda asked “well what is she going to do if it breaks its leg?” (This question being asked at the height of the drinking binge) So I yell out “I will take it back to a. Lindas place!” and gma was right there with me imitating a 3 legged dog, while I said “here a. Linda, you can have this dog back. Something is wrong with its leg? Well gotta run!”

2. I made a promise that one of my children (bless their poor poor hearts) will address my grandma as “gigi”. Apparently she has always wished that one of her great grand kids address her as “gigi”. I didn’t ask. I just said “well fine. My kid will call you 'gigi'.”

3.
So the family has decided that I am to be buried in my gold converse. They love them more than I do I think & apparently the best part of my “Cuz I’m Not Dying!” story is the part where I spent $110 on gold converse from Barneys.
They really were purchased in that life-is-short fashion. I had been admiring the shoes from afar. And then when I was feeling really grey one day, I took the crosstown bus over to the Westside and got my gold shoes.
If I could have worn them to bed, I would have. I have worn them every day since. They really did work. And now serve as comic relief.
My mom said I need to get them framed. Makes it easy, because they are basically already bronzed! So anyway – I now have the shoe portion of my coffin outfit planned. Thank goodness!