ANYC: 06.03

I used to work for a socialite, & at a popular store in the village - so I would like to publish all the conversations that I have had with famous people. If noted otherwise, all conversations took place on the phone.

Melanie Griffith -
ring, ring.
A: Hello?
M: (in a verrrry chilled out whisper) Hey, it's Melanie.
A: wha, who?
M: Melanie Griffith. How are you?
A: uh, great. How are you?
M: ahh everything is cool with me. say, do you know when Stella should be there in the morning?
A: at the apartment?
M: yeah, she is going to camp with robin.
A: no, I am sorry I have no clue what time Stella should be there. I suggest you call Liz. Do you have her cell number?
M: Yeah, let me check that with you. (check number) Cool. Thank you.
A: No problem. Have a great night.

Paul Newman -
ring ring
A: hello?
P: hey its Newman, is Lizzie there?
A: no, can I take a message?
P: ah, just tell her newman called.
A: deal.

Chelsea -
ring ring
C: is Liz there?
A: No, may I take a message?
C: Its Chelsea.
A: Would you like me to have her call you back?
C: Don't you have another number where I can reach her?
A: I could give you her cell phone.
C: Okay. I will try her there.

Alec Baldwin - (we met once at a restaurant in East Hampton - and he found out that I was from Alaska.)
in person.
Al: Hey Alaska! How's Robin?
A: Great. What are you up to?
Al: Just felt like an afternoon jog. I am going to keep my car in the drive way while I jog the beach.
A: Thatís cool with me.
Al: Great. I'll be back in the next hour.
A: Have fun.

Debbie Harry -
ring ring
A: Hello?
D: Is Miles in?
A: Yes, may I tell him who is calling?
D: Debbie Harry.
A: just a second -

Paul Newman -
in person
Doug: Anise something is burning in the kitchen.
A: Oh my! I left robin's papers in the stove!
P & JoAnne Woodward: (laugh at me)
D: what!? why would you do a thing like that?
A: I never use the stove, and needed a place to store her work.
P: Well its cooked now!
D: thatís for sure.
later, in the kitchen:
P: say, could you tell me where the beer is?
A: yeah, in the fridge, let me get it -
P: oh, no thatís okay sweetie.
again, in the kitchen:
P: Would you mind hooking me up with another Sierra?
A: No problem.
P: The meal was absolutely delicious.
A: Gee, thanks.

Bev D'Angelo -
B: oh, that girl loved you. Do you nanny?
A: No, but I baby sit and tutor from time to time.
B: How are you with 2 year old twin boys??
A: Love 2 year olds. I used to watch two boys both under 2.
B: Great. could I have your number in case I need a sitter?
A: not a problem.

Lauren Bacall -
L: Hello darling, where is the coat room?
A: around the corner to your right.
L: Thank you.

McCauley Culkin -
in person
M: I am waiting for a small Buddha statue from the back room - could you tell me how long the wait will be?
A: Well, I would guess maybe 15 minutes. You could wait here, or I could page you once Jose returns.
M: I will wait here.
A: Fine - so how has your day been?
M: Fine.

Holly Hunter -
H: Hello, I am interested in a comforter over there, could you help me?
A: Yes, I will find a sales associate for you. Please wait here.

Barbara Walters -
A: ABC Carpet & Home, how may I help you?
B: I would like to purchase 6 gift certificates for my staff.
A: Great - whom may I say these are from?
B: Barbara Walters. Actually could you individualize them?
(then we went through the whole process. I doubt you want to read that, and I dont want to type it.)

Jimmy Buffet -
ring ring
A: Johnson residence, Anise speaking.
J: Hey - Lizzie in?
A: Sure, may I ask who is calling?
J: Jimmy Buffet.
A: please hold.

in person
J: dinner was delicious. Thank you.
A: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

Alan Alda -
in person
Al: Thank you! Dinner was fantastic!
A: Thank you! glad you had fun.

Dan Rather -
D: Where could I find a restroom?
A: Down the hall, to the left.
D: Thanks.

Michael Pitt -
in person
A: Hey, I never do this, but I just wanted to say you were amazing in Hedwig.
M: thank you. I really appreciate that.
A: Man, it was fucking brilliant.
M: Thanks.

Moving East

Growing up in Alaska can be very isolating. Even as a child, you can feel the isolation. My parents however, did a great job in encouraging us to learn and discover places outside of my hometown. We had a small library room, and the garage was lined with national geographic magazines. We are the family who takes the scenic route, and always drives to the 'lower 48'. Anyway, around 1990, National geographic did an article on the subway system of New York City. I remember reading the issue, and being obsessed by the pictures of the skyscrapers, the streets, and the underground subway system. I knew what the average American kid knew about New York, however reading the article took my breath away. Luckily, there was a pull-out map of Manhattan inside that was marked with the most prominent buildings and other points of interest. I hung the map by my bed, and would memorize each building and neighborhood. To this day, I hang the map everywhere I live. I am bringing this up because as of Saturday, I have officially been living in New York for 6 years.
I flew out of Alaska on June 21st, (summer solstice) just as the sun was dipping below the horizon - only to rise a few minutes later. I remember never wanting to forget what I saw out of the plane window that day. The cabin of our plane was filled with an intense orange light of the sunset, and I was wearing a wool pea coat.
A week earlier, I had been mowing the grass by my city's airport. It was my second summer home from college. My friends and I worked together for the city's Parks and Recreation department. After work we would go hiking, mountain biking, or just chill at the beach. The upcoming fall semester I was transferring to the Art Academy in San Francisco. I guess it would be safe to say that my only worry at the time was that I hadnít yet found a place to live in San Fran. So anyway, back to the lawn mower. I was riding along, when all of a sudden my contact lens falls off my eye, into the grass below. Five minutes later, my supervisor drove by and saw me searching through the grass. He was kind of strict - his name was Terry. Upon seeing him, I begged him to take me to my house so I could get another lens. He agreed to take me to my house, and right as we pulled up to the house, my mom stepped outside with the phone in her hand. I walked up to her, and she told me that it was a man from New York wanting to speak with me.
The character on the phone was Miles. He was a father in dire straights for an emergency nanny to look after his two year old son. His wife was in Paris on business, his nanny had walked out on him. In his panic, he called his sister in law, and she asked her babysitter (my college roommate) if she knew anyone that would want to move to New York. My college roommate suggested myself, knowing fully well how obsessed I was with New York City. So I spoke with him, and told him that I would love to move. He then told me that I will need to move within the next week. I said fine.
After hanging up the phone, I remember turning to my mom and saying: "Mom, I am moving to New York." She said okay (and then called everyone with a pulse). I then told Terry as we were driving off, that I was moving to New York in one week. Terry was a little taken back - but fortunately I had the cool "college kid" job in town, so the position was easily filled. So my friends and I had the appropriate beach gathering, and I was off.
Once in New York City, I felt incredible energy and possibility. I was a nanny for the rest of that summer in a little town outside of the city. I enrolled in a school close to the house, was able to finish University, travel Europe, and eventually move into Manhattan. Every once in a while I get the itch to try out some other city - but never end up leaving. I can't bare the thought that I might be missing out on something. I guess sometimes we just get these strange surprises, and its fun to go with it.

I would like to post an ad asking if anyone would like to become my pen pal with one stipulation - we write each other high on weed (not that I would do that kind of thing). now, I was going to post this on craigslist - but that would be me basically saying "hey feds, here I am, email me, pretend you are high, become my best friend, put me in a compromising position where one day you just so happen to "not have any weed on you" and sentence me to the slammer at 26, for narcotics possession". So anyway, again - let me reiterate that this is an IDEA. Here is the ad I will never post:
wanted: pen pal who is willing to email me high on marijuana. you do not read
high times. you get high to hear things in music, look at situations from a different perspective, laugh, and dance around. for some reason I donít want a girl writing me high - I know that's sexist - but I picture my high pen pal being male. To add more to the fun I recommend a song, then you recommend a song to listen and then comment on. my pick to get things rolling is track 1 on Hail to the theif. a little obvious of a pick, but it should get things rolling. hope to hear from you soon.

I have an idea for a college cooking show to air on the Food Network. Every episode would represent a different college. The audience would wear their college sweatshirts - maybe the show would take the occasional cross country trip to different schools. I would have a male and female host, and they would be professional chefs- having just graduated from chef school. I want them to be chefs because I donít think it would be fair to give hosting positions on Food Network to anything but chefs. If they were not chefs - the show would be more geared for MTV. The crux of the show would basically be how to live off of 5 dollars a day, with a microwave, a stove used only to boil water, and no tv dinners allowed. Here is an example recipe to be featured on the show:
makeshift pizza in a coffee mug.
1/2 a coffe mug of bisquick
some cheese - but if you donít have any, it will be fine without.
some spaghetti sauce.
directions: fill a coffee mug half full of bisquick baking powder. add water until you get the same consistency of shampoo. put the mug into the microwave for a about 2 minutes. the bisquick will in turn cook into a nice roll right inside the cup. take mug out after two minutes - looking at the top to make sure all dough is cooked. with a fork, pull the roll away from the cup, and pour some spaghetti sauce onto the roll. sprinkle with cheese and enjoy.
other toppings: honey & butter, brown sugar, cheese, jelly.

got nothing to do this summer? These guys decided that it would be fun to walk from Chicago to san Francisco. if you are still making summer plans and thinking of something fun and creative to embark on - I am thinking it might be cool to meet up with them forrest gump style. create a small summer revolution of sorts.

Last Thursday at work, I went into the office break room to get a plastic knife for cutting an ice cream cake. After 15 minutes of struggling with a plastic knife, my supervisor suggested that I go retrieve a real knife from the drawer by the sink. So, I went back to the break room, to the drawer by sink. To my surprise, I found about 12 knives, all larger than my head, all sharp as fuck. Well, I donít know how sharp the word 'fuck' is, but it always make things sound tough, and in this case, I am hoping the word will convey a sharpness, uncanny to any sharpness you have experienced. So anyway. I would like to express how disturbed I am by the amount of sharp knives that exist in a place I had associated as being generally sterile. Sterile in personality. Sterile in hygiene. Sterile in dťcor. In the end I shook it off, and told myself that I had been watching way too much Six Feet Under for fuck's sake.

Here is Tamara's joke about knives being in the kitchen:
Boss: You're fired.
Tamara: What? uh, wait a second, can we move this conversation to the kitchen?? Uh, I think I need a cup of coffee... I'll be right back.

This weekend, I am going down to DC to see my dad who is there on business. One of our adventures is going to be visiting the International Spy Museum. I am way psyched. The museum is full of fun games, and interesting tid-bits about secrets codes and duh, spying on people. Click here to send messages in secret code.