Today I entered the “help us name our restaurant” contest happening at this not-yet-open-falafel-joint down on St. Marks place. Knowing that it is located below an NYU dorm, and that it will most likely be frequented by students and cheesy village lovers, I submitted the following ideas: (oh yeah – the prize is 25 hundred smackers. In cash;)
St. Pitas Place
Tangled up in Shawarma
Pita’s R’ Us
Pitas on the Storm
Sex Pitas
Pita Pita Pumpkin Ita
Sonic Pita
Pita Calling
Falafel Dorm
Falafel 5 (everything is like under 5 bucks)
Falafel Fever
23 St. Falafel Place
Punk Pita
Pita Punks
Shawarma Dorma
Falafel Dorm
Yellow Pita Marine
All You Need is Pita
Wednesday
Everybody vote this year for the Bloggie Awards!!
I would like to win for "best kept secret" The best underrepresented weblogs. I got no reps man. I have good ideas. Where's the love?
I would like to win for "best kept secret" The best underrepresented weblogs. I got no reps man. I have good ideas. Where's the love?
Tuesday
Anise: So what is your New Year’s Resolution?
Doug: Well it’s the same one I made last year, and the same one I am going to make next year. I have never broken my resolution.
A:What is it?
D: Well, it’s three fold:
1.) I will not go to Mozambique.
2.) I will not buy and elephant.
3.) I will not drive a truck cross country.
Doug: Well it’s the same one I made last year, and the same one I am going to make next year. I have never broken my resolution.
A:What is it?
D: Well, it’s three fold:
1.) I will not go to Mozambique.
2.) I will not buy and elephant.
3.) I will not drive a truck cross country.
Monday
All of these thoughts stem from my watching the movie American Splendor. (Which would have been my favorite movie of 03'. But I saw it Jan. 1st.)
1. Blogging is the Harvey Pekar comic book of our generation.
2. My favorite city right now, is Cleveland. I have never been there, it wasn't portrayed in any beautiful sense in American Splendor - but it just seems like a place where people might want to stay and set up camp for a while.
3. The way American Splendor was done - reminds me of how I sometimes see events in my life. You kind of take in all in - and then add a caption. Like yesterday, on my run around the reservoir in Central Park. There is a point at the top of the loop - where you can see all of central park - midtown - and both sides of Manhattan. This is my fave part of the run - so yesterday I took a moment to do my usuals - a) give a nod to my 32nd floor coworkers in the black building ahead, b) check progress of the Time Warner Buildings, and c) look at this one building that looks like saraongs tower, and remind myself to look for it on my lunch break. So after doing all these things, I took a look West - (Wow) I took a look East - (Gosh) and was overcome with this sense of power and competition. I looked at both sides and added the caption: "East vs. West." I found it funny. Most of you probably wouldn't find that very funny.
4. Harvey Pekar is the New Yorker cartoonist of the Midwest.
5. American Splendor is the Annie Hall of our generation.
Paul Giamatti and Harvey Pekar. Apparently Paul's dad was the prez of Baseball when the Pete Rose incident happened. Or something like that.
1. Blogging is the Harvey Pekar comic book of our generation.
2. My favorite city right now, is Cleveland. I have never been there, it wasn't portrayed in any beautiful sense in American Splendor - but it just seems like a place where people might want to stay and set up camp for a while.
3. The way American Splendor was done - reminds me of how I sometimes see events in my life. You kind of take in all in - and then add a caption. Like yesterday, on my run around the reservoir in Central Park. There is a point at the top of the loop - where you can see all of central park - midtown - and both sides of Manhattan. This is my fave part of the run - so yesterday I took a moment to do my usuals - a) give a nod to my 32nd floor coworkers in the black building ahead, b) check progress of the Time Warner Buildings, and c) look at this one building that looks like saraongs tower, and remind myself to look for it on my lunch break. So after doing all these things, I took a look West - (Wow) I took a look East - (Gosh) and was overcome with this sense of power and competition. I looked at both sides and added the caption: "East vs. West." I found it funny. Most of you probably wouldn't find that very funny.
4. Harvey Pekar is the New Yorker cartoonist of the Midwest.
5. American Splendor is the Annie Hall of our generation.
Paul Giamatti and Harvey Pekar. Apparently Paul's dad was the prez of Baseball when the Pete Rose incident happened. Or something like that.
I have always wanted to make a physical map of the freckles of my body. Make everything 2 dimensional. A personal constellation chart of sorts. In fact, I would want it to be printed in Negative - Dark blue w/ each freckle would be white/glowing. Like a map of the Solar System/Universe.
One of my fave artists Tim Hawkinson, did something similar to this. He made a roller stamp out of ever part of his body – so lets take your wrist for example. Put your wrist in a plaster mold – fill the mold with the rubber stamp material – put it on a roller, and presto chango, you have a roller stamp of your wrist. Then you stamp it on paper.
So yeah, it would be kind of like that.
O yeah - it would be made in a Maude Lebowski-esque studio.
One of my fave artists Tim Hawkinson, did something similar to this. He made a roller stamp out of ever part of his body – so lets take your wrist for example. Put your wrist in a plaster mold – fill the mold with the rubber stamp material – put it on a roller, and presto chango, you have a roller stamp of your wrist. Then you stamp it on paper.
So yeah, it would be kind of like that.
O yeah - it would be made in a Maude Lebowski-esque studio.
Last night my G-ma told me that one of the perks of my G-pa being in a nursing home was the fact that she gets to watch all the football she wants. Then she went on about the Seahawks game. I just sat there. I didn't have anything to contribute.
As far as the Seahawks go - I have this fact: I got two scholarships when I graduated High School. One of them was in memory of a boy named Ben Olsen. He died of cancer during his junior year. The cool thing about Ben was that he had an amazing voice. He once sang the national anthem down in Seattle at a Seahawks game. He was like the Ryan White of our little town called Kenai.
Here's something else - Ben also got to make a wish with the "Make a Wish" foundation. He got to travel to yours truly - NYC - and saw Phantom of the Opera, and was able to go backstage and meet the cast. Everyone in my town thought that was totally awesome. I think the photo of him and the cast of Phantom was in our yearbook that year.
As far as the Seahawks go - I have this fact: I got two scholarships when I graduated High School. One of them was in memory of a boy named Ben Olsen. He died of cancer during his junior year. The cool thing about Ben was that he had an amazing voice. He once sang the national anthem down in Seattle at a Seahawks game. He was like the Ryan White of our little town called Kenai.
Here's something else - Ben also got to make a wish with the "Make a Wish" foundation. He got to travel to yours truly - NYC - and saw Phantom of the Opera, and was able to go backstage and meet the cast. Everyone in my town thought that was totally awesome. I think the photo of him and the cast of Phantom was in our yearbook that year.
Sunday
I was in FAO Shwartz this Friday with the world renowned Ms. Johnson. We were looking for things to do.
We end up flipping-off the lines at both the Wollman Rink, and Rockefeller Center. We both share a hatred for lines. That I hopefully will never loose. If my family ever wants to go to Disney world in any month other than September - they will be traveling by themselves. Vacations should not include lines. Neither should life.
So anyway - back to the dying FAO. We walk in - I had forgotten about the bankrupt thing, and didn't really think it was really in effect. Know what I mean? I thought it was just something we would be "hearing" about.
Wrong.
All the shelves are virtually empty. Robin looks around and says how depressed it is to be in there, but still wanted to see the Dying City. We went upstairs to Barbie world. Both of us equally curious. In Barbies place they had strollers for triplets, and dirty rugs. In Lego's place they hat tattered plastic, and a broken soldier. In candy's place they had stale gumballs and a bin of mint red/white swirly candies.
"Gross. No kid eats those mints. They are for grown-ups."
The piano from Big was Norma Desmond.
"Come on lets at least get some gum, Robin!"
"I can't because of my retainer"
"Oh - well I am going to get a piece."
So then we existed stage left, and adjusted the hypnotic FAO banter on the corner of 59th and 5th:
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world of shelves.
We end up flipping-off the lines at both the Wollman Rink, and Rockefeller Center. We both share a hatred for lines. That I hopefully will never loose. If my family ever wants to go to Disney world in any month other than September - they will be traveling by themselves. Vacations should not include lines. Neither should life.
So anyway - back to the dying FAO. We walk in - I had forgotten about the bankrupt thing, and didn't really think it was really in effect. Know what I mean? I thought it was just something we would be "hearing" about.
Wrong.
All the shelves are virtually empty. Robin looks around and says how depressed it is to be in there, but still wanted to see the Dying City. We went upstairs to Barbie world. Both of us equally curious. In Barbies place they had strollers for triplets, and dirty rugs. In Lego's place they hat tattered plastic, and a broken soldier. In candy's place they had stale gumballs and a bin of mint red/white swirly candies.
"Gross. No kid eats those mints. They are for grown-ups."
The piano from Big was Norma Desmond.
"Come on lets at least get some gum, Robin!"
"I can't because of my retainer"
"Oh - well I am going to get a piece."
So then we existed stage left, and adjusted the hypnotic FAO banter on the corner of 59th and 5th:
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world
Welcome to our world of shelves.
Finishing a great movie is the kiss at the end of a first-base make out session.
You kind of just have to sit there when its over and say out loud "man, that was great"
Whether you are in a movie theatre or on the couch
Then you wait a couple more minutes and go "yep - that was an amazing movie"
Just like that innocent first-base make out - it hits all the right spots - but is still a piece of celluloid or a laser, none the less.
Neither can make a baby, or change the world; - but are nice options and thoughts to have laying around.
You kind of just have to sit there when its over and say out loud "man, that was great"
Whether you are in a movie theatre or on the couch
Then you wait a couple more minutes and go "yep - that was an amazing movie"
Just like that innocent first-base make out - it hits all the right spots - but is still a piece of celluloid or a laser, none the less.
Neither can make a baby, or change the world; - but are nice options and thoughts to have laying around.
Welcome to the inner thoughts of my sick mind:
I finally know the answer to the question that has been haunting me since I started working in this office:
Question: Which toilet is used least, in the ladies room??
Answer: The second from the right.
Why: Because at 09:30 this morning the lid was still up. No woman in their right mind would put the lid up after peeing. If they do, they are in the wrong bathroom. It is an underwritten rule (in the world of germ-o-phobes) that in a ladies bathroom, when the lid is still up, your seat has been freshly cleaned.
Of course I have been secretly keeping track of which stall receives the least amount of traffic. The last and first stalls are the most popular - always occupied. It is rare to see the second and third stalls filled – so I was debating between the two. Well, after 10 months of internal note taking, I have my answer.
So. Pecking order of stalls from most traffic to least traffic:
1. first stall
2. last stall
3. third stall
4. second stall
P.S. Don’t everyone start using that second stall. Its mine.
I finally know the answer to the question that has been haunting me since I started working in this office:
Question: Which toilet is used least, in the ladies room??
Answer: The second from the right.
Why: Because at 09:30 this morning the lid was still up. No woman in their right mind would put the lid up after peeing. If they do, they are in the wrong bathroom. It is an underwritten rule (in the world of germ-o-phobes) that in a ladies bathroom, when the lid is still up, your seat has been freshly cleaned.
Of course I have been secretly keeping track of which stall receives the least amount of traffic. The last and first stalls are the most popular - always occupied. It is rare to see the second and third stalls filled – so I was debating between the two. Well, after 10 months of internal note taking, I have my answer.
So. Pecking order of stalls from most traffic to least traffic:
1. first stall
2. last stall
3. third stall
4. second stall
P.S. Don’t everyone start using that second stall. Its mine.