Wednesday

Things I enjoyed during 2003:

Website: epitonic.com
Blog: Christian Finnegan
Photos: Slower.net
Idea: Justin Timberlake video
Blog Title: Tangled up in Blog
Post: signs
Story Tellers: Robin & Doug Johnson

Month: August
Holiday: 4th of July
Trip: Vegas
Party: K Rock’s b-day party
Morning: Thanksgiving morning
Afternoon: Hiking in Whales
Night: Playing cards at the Heidelberg
Lunch: Basil Chicken sandwich from Europa Café
Snack: Brown Cinnamon Pop Tarts
Deli: Pranzo Deli on 50th
Drinks: Odan 14 Scotch

Movie: Big Lebowski
Cinematographer: Harry Savides (elephant & gerry)
Boys on Film: Robert De Niro in Raging Bull
Girls on Film: Marcia in Mystic River
Dreamboat: Jude Law
Sellout: Maggie G.
TV: Six feet under
MTV: Newlywed’s
Comedy: Tinkle

Singer: Jim James
Band: Led Zeppelin
Composer: Rachmaninoff
Albums: Queens of the Stone Age – Songs for the Deaf
Song: Breathe – Pink Floyd
Lyrics: "I'm gonna fight em' off. A seven nation army couldn't hold me back."
Soundtrack: Morvern Caller

Store: Cancer Care Thrift Shop
Clothes: Aqua cashmere sweater
Brand: J.Crew
Drug: Ambien
Money: Radiohead concert refund
Ad Campaign: Volkswagen
Book: Shopgirl
Magazine: Vanity Fair
Word: blog
Tim Robbins and Sean Penn should both receive nominations for Mystic River. Hell, so should the diction coach. Well done.
A full list of lists of 2003.

Tuesday

George and I were talking about how we spent our Christmas'. We both argreed that Christmas will not feel like Christmas again, until we have our own families. We are at an inbetween age. For now its really a day off, where you think about stuff. Christmas, and Trix, are for kids.
Sorry, but Yahoo! Oddly Enough is really funny today. Aside from the Santa Helicopter crash, we have this girl who would like the freedom to pose her naked barbies with kitchen appliances... in of all places? Utah.

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A federal appeals court has upheld a Utah artist's right to make nude photos of Barbie dolls being menaced by kitchen appliances.
Ah the wonders of a Manhattan apartment. This man was trapped in his for two days under a pile of books and magazines!!
I woke up to this story on NPR:
The 27th of December was supposedly the one year anniversary of the first cloned human being. Her name (shocker) is Eve. Her scientist parents belong to a religion called Raelian. In said religion, members are encouraged by aliens, to clone human beings. Well, in said religion, members are basically encouraged by aliens in life. They say that the name of God (Elohim) means not God, but “those who came from the sky”. So anyway. After making this announcement last year - that they had successfully cloned the first human being – the group of scientists/alien freaks are opting for silence. They will not tell the progress or whereabouts of Eve. Check out this funk.

I just want to know who cloned themself? I mean really.
There is a zen to be found in ice skating. Its the same zen that a woman can find while walking in high heels. In both sports you really have to concentrate on the simple act of staying vertical, and keeping your ass above sea level. All of this concentration can really clear your thoughts. I find both excruciatingly relaxing.
The thing that sucks about buying new beautiful lacy bras that make your tits look fantastic, is that you can't really show off your new goods to the general public. When people ask me about my christmas presents I want to show them what I dropped my money on. Lift up my shirt - "aren't these bows to die for!! God, right when I saw this bra, I knew it was mine! The lace, the color, the way it fits. Doesn't it look fantastic??!!"
That's the downfall of wearing beautiful new bras. They are hidden.
Last night I watched Elephant, by Gus Van Sant. After the finish of the movie about five people ran out of the theatre, and the other 15 of us just sat there in silence. I couldn't consider going out on the street. I had to sit and stare. get mad. get sad. I wanted someone to say something - but at the same time, didn't want anyone to ruin that golden silent moment.
This movie is a must see for all of you who were at one time in high school. Please see this in the theatres before it leaves. Gus deserves the ticket sale. This was the most moving picture I have watched all year.
Finally.
That is why I went - in hopes of finally seeing a movie that would leave me breathless.
It worked.
If you are totally clueless as to when/where Elephant is playing - I will personally look up the information for you, and send you directions to the theatre closest to you. Just email me your zip code, or something like that.

Go just knowing you should see it. I don't suggest looking up spoilers.
Move over Martha - Alaska Women chop the wood, and carry the water.

Monday

Why isn't the word "palindrome", a palindrome??
Oops! Someone take this sign down!! THERE MUST BE A MISTAKE!!

My homeland is being attacked. By loggers. Pres. Bush has decided to change yet another sensible rule set up by the Clinton administration. This time it involves the trees in the Tongass National Forest.

Unfortunately I saw this too late.

Here is a map of OUR NATION'S LARGEST NATIONAL FOREST:


Here is a guy who walked around Alaska in 1975, for National Geographic:
Today I received a late Christmas present from the early Stuart Ross. It is a book called Lunch Poems by my favorite Frank O'Hara. I was going to read one poem a day during my lunch breaks because I thought that sounded "eulogy" nice (i tend to work under the pretense of how it will sound in a eulogy):

"She appreciated Frank O'Hara, and used to read one poem a day during her lunch break from his book Lunch Poems. This book can be purchased on Amazon.com for $12.99 - or you might find a nice used copy down at The Strand on 12th and Broadway."

So anyway, it goes like this:

Lana Turner has collapsed!
I was trotting along and suddenly
it started raining and snowing
and you said it was hailing
but hailing hits you on the head
hard so it was really snowing and
raining and I was in such a hurry
to meet you but the traffic
was acting like the sky
and suddenly I see a headline
LANA TURNER HAS COLLAPSED!
there is no snow in Hollywood
there is no rain in California
I have been to lots of parties
but I have never actually collapsed
oh Lana Turner we love you get up
1962

Wednesday

the word "crimbo" keeps following me around. James the roommate said it first. So I looked it up, and it's primarily British. Then the other day at the boys' Christmas pagent they used the word "crimbo". Then when Mona said goodbye to me in the car she said "Merry Crimbo". Its kind of weird, being that I didnt know what the word meant until two weeks ago.

Tuesday

My Dorky Dad Dave.
Coincidentally Robert Duvall is in four movies that I am watching this week: The Godfather I and II, To Kill a Mockingbird, and M*A*S*H. Turns out I am his new biggest fan. I like him. I wonder if he likes me.

On a side note - I just realized that Britney Spears (November 2003) received a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame exactly two months after Robert Duvall (September 2003). Go figure.
Sometimes I feel like I have an Angel. I mean, the Angel (no offense Mr. Angel) is passed out half the time, but for the most part - I feel protected.
So, this morning on the subway platform, I was standing in an unusual spot. I typically stand between two specific stairways by this column that I typically lean up against. This morning, I was situated at the wrong column because I was fumbling with my CD player - (in attempts to listen to Judy.) So as I am fumbling, and the train pulls up. I stand to the side to let the people off.
I look up, and what to my wondering eyes do appear?
An old friend from Alaska who moved here this year.
I grabbed her arm, and we just stood there chatting like old friends. It was a blessing to see her, because I have been feeling so broken-in-half and empty. It was a joy to see a fresh face, and just chat about something else for two minutes.
When things like this happen, I feel like I am in the right place at the right time. A little hard for me to believe at this time in my life – but affirming none the less.
Yesterday at work we were all getting this big package together for these two girls. They are 5 and 11. So we were thinking about what they might like and I said:

"I have no idea what an 11 year old wants."

Then I started thinking for a minute and smirked:

"The 11 year old Anise would be horrified at my last comment."

I never thought I would forget what it was like to be a certain age. I mean, the times have changed since I was 11, but not basic principles and stuff like that. An 11 year old girl, is an 11 year old girl, is an 11 year old girl.
Or maybe that assumption is completely naive, and that is how we age ourselves. Thinking that time and progress stops, and 11 year old girls will always like bead sets, and bracelets. Who knows. I guess that is all part of human progress.
The current "thing that is following me around" would be The Ghost of Judy Garland Past. I am not in the Christmas spirit, and am not really seeking anything of the sort. This year I am in the Judy Garland spirit. I was at my least favorite thrift store on 3rd and 83rd street. The man behind the counter is this very fluffy, snotty guy. We never really talk to each other – but I needed his assistance. Playing in the background was Judy. I have never really been interested in Judy. But the song playing was from a Judy concert in Paris, and it made me feel like Christmas. So after asking him for the Vaurnet’s, I then asked if the Judy was for sale. Both him and the fag hag next to him start choppy laughing, asking me if I am insane.
“Not really.” I replied.
“Well anyway, this album is not for sale.” kackle kackle.
“Yes. I am okay with that. Do you think I could look at the cover?”
So I examine the cover and resolve that other than the Big Lebowski CD that I had received two days earlier – I wanted nothing more than this rare Judy CD.
The cover picture, and the stories that the fag hag bragged - about Judy showing up two hours late, drunk, combined with the pill popping stories that Doug always tells about Judy openly raiding medicine cabinets at parties, and no one saying a word – jump starteded my admiration.
On Saturday I purchased the Judy Garland 1961 Carnegie Hall concert. The album has nothing more than clicked with the feeling I am feeling this December. My favorite track is the Gershwin number – ‘Do It Again’.

+++++
"Do It Again" lyrics: (i know, its annoying that I post lyrics- so just scroll through it - but the lyrics have a message. so eat it.)

You really shouldn’t have done it
You hadn’t any right
I really shouldn’t have let you
Kiss me.
And although it was wrong
I never went strong.
So as long as you’ve begun it
And you know you shouldn’t have done it.

Oh.
Do it again.
I my cry no. no. no. no. no. no.
But do it again.
My lips just ache
To have you take the kiss
That’s waiting for you
You know if you do
You won’t regret it
Come and get it.

Oh.
No one is near
I may cry oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh
But no one can hear.
Mamma may scold me
Cuz’ she told me
It was naughty but then

Please,
Do it again.
Yes do it again. And again and again and again and again and again
Turn out the light.
And hold me close
In your arms
All through the night.
I know tomorrow morning
You will say
Goodbye and Amen.

But until then...
Please do it again.
+++++

Whew. Geez. Heavy! So, this morning I woke up to the radio, as always, and who were they doing a clip on?? Judy Garland's signature number “Over The Rainbow”, as part of the NPR series called “No Place Like Home”. Did you know that they weren't even going to include the number in the movie? shame. Its all about being homesick. Just to annoy the crap out of you, I am going to put the lyrics in for Over the Rainbow too. Click on this link to see the full effect.

+++++
Somewhere over the Rainbow lyrics:

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?
++++

What better than a pill popping, drunk, 30 years dead, singing to you in your warm fuzzy Manhattan apartment? Theres no place like home.

Monday

My middle fingers are sticking up right now.

The Christmas bonus will not be given to the 3 of us in the photodesk.

We thought we were getting the bonus for about 2 hours on Friday.

Please ignore the post saying that we should call the christmas bonus, a christmas boner.

And please ignore the post where I type out the lyrics for my new hit song: "Today I am Buying a Digital Camera"
Supposed “Christmas songs” that have nothing to do with Jesus being supposedly born on December 25th:
1. Jingle Bells
2. Sleigh Ride
3. Winter Wonderland
4. Frosty the Snowman
5. Let it Snow
Last night was the darkest night of the year.
With only a sliver of moonlight to guide us.
We piled into the car for an early dinner.
Wearing red sweaters and pearl strands.
Enjoying Hot Toddies and calling Sundaes - Mondays.
Laughing at treating Christmas carols like "spoken Word".
We escaped together at the Apawamis Country Club.
Warming napkins on our laps.
Whetting silver in our mouths.

Friday

Dead Flowers by Keith Richards

Well, when you’re sitting there
In your silk upholstered chair
Talking to some rich folks that you know
Well I hope you won’t see me
In my ragged company
You know I could never be alone

Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think you’re the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave

Well, when you’re sitting back
In your rose pink cadillac
Making bets on kentucky derby day
I’ll be in my basement room
With a needle and a spoon
And another girl to take my pain away

Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think you’re the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave

Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think you’re the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the us mail
Say it with dead flowers at my wedding
And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave
No I won’t forget to put roses on your grave
I would like to from this point forward refer to the Christmas bonus as "The Christmas Boner".
Today we got the Christmas bonus at my job. In light of the event, I wrote a song(to be sung to the tune of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow"):

Today I'm Buying a Digital Camera
by Anise Brunch.

Today I'm buying a camera
I'm buying a digital camera
I'm buying a digital cameraaaaaaaa
Today after work.

Today after work
Today after work.
I'm buying a digital cameraaaaaaaa
Today after work.
If I was a rock star, and my record label made me put out a christmas track, I would sing Walking in a Winter Wonderland - but call it Rocking in a Winter Wonderland.
I would like everyone to take a minute and read this out loud - where ever you are. Just read it out loud.

Let's look at the snow.
We're riding in a wonderland of snow
Giddy-up giddy-up giddy-up it's grand
Just holding your hand
We're gliding along with the song of a winter-y fairy land

Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we
We're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather would be
Let's take the road before us and sing a chorus or two
Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray
It'll be the perfect ending of a perfect day
We'll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop
At the fireplace while we watch the chestnuts pop
Pop! Pop! Pop!
So I have a new fan. His name is Mr. Mike Lawson. He types: “If I rock your world the way you rock mine, you can link to me”. So I will do just that. His site is fine with me. He posted something about watching the 100 greatest movies of all time. Lets all try to do this in the new year. He bolded the ones that he has seen, so I too, will bold the one’s I have watched. Cool. Wicked. Peace.

100 Greatest Movies of All Time by the American Film Institute:

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941)
2. CASABLANCA (1942)
3. THE GODFATHER (1972)
4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
7. THE GRADUATE (1967)
8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9. SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993)
10. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
11. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957)
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
15. STAR WARS (1977)
16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)
18. PSYCHO (1960)
19. CHINATOWN (1974)
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)
24. RAGING BULL (1980)
25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982)
26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964)
27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)
28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)
30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948)
31. ANNIE HALL (1977)
32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)
33. HIGH NOON (1952)
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969)
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
42. REAR WINDOW (1954)
43. KING KONG (1933)
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915)
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
47. TAXI DRIVER (1976)
48. JAWS (1975)
49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)
50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953)
53. AMADEUS (1984)
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)
56. M*A*S*H (1970)
57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)
58. FANTASIA (1940)
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)
61. VERTIGO (1958)
62. TOOTSIE (1982)
63. STAGECOACH (1939)
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
66. NETWORK (1976)
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962)
68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)
69. SHANE (1953)
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971)
71. FORREST GUMP (1994)
72. BEN-HUR (1959)
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)
78. ROCKY (1976)
79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)
80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)
81. MODERN TIMES (1936)
82. GIANT (1956)
83. PLATOON (1986)
84. FARGO (1996)
85. DUCK SOUP (1933)
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)
87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
88. EASY RIDER (1969)
89. PATTON (1970)
90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)
91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)
93. THE APARTMENT (1960)
94. GOODFELLAS (1990)
95. PULP FICTION (1994)
96. THE SEARCHERS (1956)
97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
98. UNFORGIVEN (1992)
99. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER (1967)
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)

Thursday

Her Eyes are a Blue Million Miles by Captain Beefheart

I look at her and she looks at me
In her eyes I see the sea
I can`t see what she sees in a man like me
She says she loves me

Her eyes are a blue million miles

Far as I can see
She loves me

Her eyes are a blue million miles

Far as I can see
She loves me

I look at her and she looks at me
In her eyes I see the sea
I can`t see what she sees in a man like me
She says she loves me

Her eyes are a blue million miles
Savion Glover is a great tap dancer. He has a show called "Improvography" down in Chelsea for the next couple weeks. If you can, be sure to check it out.

Wednesday

Andi at my office was my secret santa. She got me the Big Lebowski soundtrack. The first track is my new favorite song in the whole wide world.
The Man in Me is the song.
New Morning is the album.
Bob Dylan is the artist.

These are the lyrics (the part that counts.):

(la la la la la la la)
The man in me will do nearly any task,
And as for compensation, there's little he would ask.
Take a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

Storm clouds are raging all around my door,
I think to myself I might not take it any more.
Take a woman like your kind
To find the man in me.

But, oh, what a wonderful feeling
Just to know that you are near,
Sets my a heart a-reeling
From my toes up to my ears.

The man in me will hide sometimes to keep from bein' seen,
But that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine.
Took a woman like you
To get through to the man in me.

Copyright © 1970 Big Sky Music
Reason Why I Love Americans #785:
If it is now illegal to share music; is it now illegal to share books? I was planning on giving The Da Vinci Code to an office friend. I am having second thoughts.

Will we treat music sharing laws the same way we treat the tag on our pillows and mattresses?

Tuesday

Its difficult for me to take Jessie Jackson seriously when, over the radio, he sounds like Tracy Morgan.

Add another boy to Elijah's list: Dreamboat Hanson.

Monday

My new favorite Jew Andrew Goldberg (aka The Hebrew Hammer). Word on the street is that Andrew aint even got a Jewish mom. How dope is that?
Obviously Saddam is super scared of death - being that he hasn't yet killed himself. I mean really.
I was just talking about photographs that everyone has - like the Eiffel tower, statue of liberty, Hollywood hills, etc. When I look through people's travel albums I always say "oh! I have that shot!" So I was thinking that it might be a cool project to get together like 50 different people, and have them submit their Eiffel tower, statue of liberty, and Hollywood hills shots. Make them all the same size. Put them on a board together. Call the project: "We Have All Been to the Same Place."

Sunday

Today I went to my first movie premiere. Forget that it was with Robin, or that it was Peter Pan. I am still cooler than you are. As far as movie stars are concerned it was mostly a family affair. Tony Soprano, I mean James Gandolfino was there with his family. Eddie Murphy was there with his family. Kelly Ripa was there with her farm. And Michael Musto was there with his Musto.
So the movie was cool to see for free, and before anyone else. The theatre smelled like nutmeg. There are no previews at a premiere, and there are people that stand up and talk to you before and after the event. The movie itself was a little dark. All the children ages 3-6 got scared at Captain Hook. I got a little scared when they showed the captains arm without the hook attachment. It looked like a ham bone. The little kid actress that played Wendy was cute. I took a good 30 minute nap. But that's what I tend to do when movies are basically predictable, and I am wearing a cozy cashmere sweater.
The after party was held at The Pierre. Tony Soprano was chilling on the floor playing with his kids who were playing with balloons. Kelly Ripa didn't go. Eddie Murphy had way cooler things to do. And Michael Musto got cotton candy, and then left the party. Robin and I decorated cookies, ate really yummy ice cream, got cotton candy, and drank about 3 bottles of coke.
Before we left Robin had to leave her mark on the place by disobeying my orders of "please do not play volleyball with the big pink balloon - people are still eating" by punching the balloon up so high that it popped on the chandelier, leaving all of the rubber balloon dangling from the crystals. After that happened, I thought it would be a good idea to leave.
The End.
I don't think Saddam was involved. I think Andy Dick was. -Doug Johnson.
My theory is Osama is a bus boy in Vegas. -Doug Johnson

Friday

The message of the movie Love Actually, made feel really bad for having an Amazon.com wishlist.
Apparently it's amusing to create an Amazon wishlist for George W. Bush??

Thursday

Bobby and Whitney are the Ike and Tina of our generation.

Self Portrait on Seventh Avenue during my lunch break. December 2003.
Did anyone notice Bill Murray's shoes throughout Lost in Translation? I am trying to find pictures of his shoes, but to no avail. You are just going to have to watch it again, if you didnt notice the shoes.

Wednesday

This month, the project Story Corps is operating a cool glowing sound booth inside the Grand Central Terminal Concourse. The sound booth is there to encourage regular Joe Shmoes to record stories about NYC past – or just about the past in general. So, being all about historical and cool, I would like to encourage everyone to take part in the project.

Alls you need to do is gather up your best story tellers, ten dollars, and head to the sound booth at GCT immediately. Simply go to the website, arrange a time to record, drag your elder (or just plain wiser comrade) friend to GCT, ask them questions about the past, have a good laugh, and call it a day. Please please please check this out. We all know a great story teller, or maybe you fancy yourself a campfire God. Who knows. Be a part of NYC history. If anything to see the cool glowing sound booth.
Last night I watched Part 1 of Angels in America. The Rabbi's opening sermon will make you cry. The Jewish boyfriend will make you think. The Mormon couple will make you want to scream. All this, during the first half hour.
There is a slide show going on this December called God Bless Americana: The Holiday Retro Slideshow. The show is basically a collection of old photographs of families celebrating the holidays. It caught my eye because one of the images (pictured below) is named “Ed Wood Christmas”.

Ed Wood is currently the “thing” that is following me around. You know when you read about something – and then the next day out of the blue, that something appears in an article, and then the next next day you see a poster for that something? That is called the "following-thing conspiracy". Of course the "following-thing conspiracy" excludes obvious media presence (like commercials, times square etc.). The “ following-thing” has to be something random, and unknown - something new to your brain. My Dad was the first one to bring the conspiracy to my attention - so whenever the “following-thing conspiracy” happens to me, I think of my Dad.* So anyway, Ed Wood is following me around. They say he was the worst director in the history of filmmaking. I plan on watching his films over Christmas break.

In the meantime, check out Charles Phoenix's slide show. It is playing in both LA and NYC.

"Ed Wood Does Christmas," from Charles Phoenix's multimedia presentation, "God Bless Americana: The Retro Holiday Slide Show."

*Since this month is My Family Kicks Your Families Ass Month – I had to drop the Dad comment.

Put some chocolate on that. Indulge me.

Tuesday

Bridget Jones' Back!!

On the left we have Renee December 2003!! On the right we have Renee March 2002!!



Shout out to all those who have contemplated writing the note...

Monday

Our special accent riddled building announcer just announced:

"Good morning everybody."

pause

"I just wanttotell evry body."

pause

"That there is fire."

pause

pause

pause

"department activity."

"outside the building"

"due to ice, falling."

pause

"thank you."
at work i just annouced:

"i would like to take a half day today. I would like to go home and sleep. I have the days. I am going home."
I would like to propose that American Beauty is the Groundhog Day of our generation.

in other similar news: Here is someone living Under the Table and Dreaming lyrics.

Saturday

everybody. matt from keyofe.blogspot sent me a message today telling me that ms. anti anti themodernage.org is back. its not half as good as "they" once were, but "they" tell us that "they" are undergoing changes. so whatever. i guess check them from time to time. it still hurts me that someone with so much talent is caught up in the whole "oh shit, i got too good for the amount of good that a cool person is allowed to be" movement - (or whatever i coined it in my eloquent letter 2 months ago.)
cheers.


my roommate said cheers on the answer machine the other day when he was calling from outside the apartment for me to let him in the front door. the lock was broked.

Friday

This weekend I am going sledding and ice skating. I am very excited about this. I am very excited about the snow. The view from this 32nd floor window makes the snow look like small specs of white cotton.

Huge snow storms really bring humans in the city physically closer. Sure, we can choose to hole up in our apartments, however its the being outside, saying "pardon me", and taking turns on the little shovelled-out walkways that really forces us to interact and brush up against each other. I guess one could say the same thing about riding the subway.

Rain makes us annoyed. Sun makes us hot.
Today two different people have used the word "solipsistic" in my presence. Funny thing is; they both live in Yorkville. Should I be concerned??
at work i just announced:

"FYI. i'm putting my feet on the desk."

silence.
A cool community/culture project might be rigging a couple subway cars with a device where one could hook up their player (CD or MP3) - and whatever they is listening too, would play throughout the car. The volume would be controlled, but the music (obviously) not. People don't carry their boomboxes around that much anymore - so this might be a way of looking back and sharing. Like this morning - I wanted the whole subway car to be jumping with how I felt inside as I listened to Ludacris. However, most people wouldn’t want to be jumping around at 6:30am to Ludacris. Bless those that do.
I would like to take pictures of Hip Hop artists in old masters style dating from the Renaissance. I feel like there are too many Hip Hop artists portraits of them blowing smoke, or sitting in swirling smoke, or lighting a J. I just don't think that is very catchy - and feel like they need to be represented for what they are - kind of modern Renaissance masters. In a way.

Thursday

Andre 3000 reading my mind in "Hey Ya":

I am currently digging the song “Stand Up” by Ludacris. The one that goes: "when i move you move (justlikethat?), when i move you move, (just like that?)"

I like the spin on acronyms he uses here:

I'm the GOD DAMN reason you in VIP
CEO you don't have to see ID
I'm young, wild, and strapped like Chi-Ali

And then my favorite part is when he eloquently states:

The owner already pissed cause we sorta late
But our time and our clothes gotta coordinate
Most girls lookin right some lookin a mess
That's why they spilling drinks all over ya dress
But Louis Vuitton bras all over your breasts (I like that LV part.)
Got me wanting to put hickies all over ya chest-ahh

So anyway.
From Tough to Stupid. Murder Inc. has decided to clean up their act. They are now called the Inc.

Wednesday

For some reason the movie Down With Love had me rolling on the floor last night. There are some hysterical lines in the movie that make up for the casting of Renee Zellwegger. Her plastic face smile looks so painful and akward, that it makes me cringe. Anyway, other than her face, the movie was 100% enjoyable.

I also rented Lola by Fassbinder, but I fell asleep - it was all the reading of those captions... And I was tired. It seemed okay - typical Euro drama though.

Tuesday

Sometimes I look at Orlando Bloom, and I see a resemblance to Justin Timberlake.
My next door neighbor and I listen to the same station. He is about oh, 70 years old, and lives a quiet life, alone. He rides his bike everywhere. He always says hello in the hallways. We listen at the same time to the same station. I always enjoy leaving my apartment and being able to hear the station continue down the stairs (he plays it rather loud).
So it got me thinking about the radio, and how much it kicks ass over the all-consuming TV. I think the coolness of the radio would be the fact that two people can be doing separate things - in separate lives, yet move to the same soundtrack (if they are tuned in to the same station.) For some reason, as I was sitting there last night, the notion of this seemed so simple and beautiful.

Oh, and I don’t want to make my neighbor out to be a complete loner. Last week I saw a round, sturdy, lady at his front door. She was wearing brown fur and red lipstick. I told myself that she was an old love of his. This made me smile and think, "Lucky bastard. I guess everyone needs an old love."
Just read this in the NYTimes:

"One old reason to stay — pursuit of the bigger-is-better American dogma of progress and growth — fits Reydon like a glove on a goat. "

Do people really say "glove on a goat"? What is that all about???
Apparently there is a fire in the basement of my office building right now. A boring mopey coworker just said (read in monotone-i-am-boring-and-mope-around tone) "for real. there is a fire in the basement."

Please somebody say something fast. I don't want these monotone words, and lame laugh to be stuck in my head, last thing before I bite the dust on my terribly eventful, 26 years of adventure, boredom, discovery, and gluttony. God. Speak to me now.

Back to reality. I might have to stop typing and get outta here. So I guess there is a fire, and if we don't get out - oh wait - there was an announcement.

Everything is cool in the building. Elevators are back up and running.

Office that I work with: the problem with our emergency service guy is that YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND HIM. He has a very strong accent, that is difficult to decipher amongst all the static background reverb.

So basically if I do bite it in this building I am going out hearing mopey/boring person translating everything static/strong accent person says. Tonight I will prepare an emergency "music to go out to" CD and store that and a CD player in my desk.

I wonder what music would be on that CD!?!? Oh gee, yet another hot topic to discuss over drinks at a bar!!

I am going to live. Close call. Mom - in the event where there is a body to deal with, please have it shipped back to my homeland. I do not want to stay here. No offense with here, I just know that this is not where I want to end up rotting. Too many things are rotting here. I do not want to be one of them. Also, there is nothing to really retrieve here, I mean, I still sleep on a cot. Well, I guess you can have all my clothes. Joshua and Geo can fight over my CD collection and stereo. The Toole family can have their furniture back - (Laurie gets the telly-she paid for half). James can have the food in the icebox. Mona can have all of my jewelry (she gave it all to me in the first place.) As for my journals? 1987-1990 goes to Derek Ruckel, 1990-1994 - goes to Aaron McCubbins & Sascha Peterson, 1995-1998 goes to Daniel Thompson, 1998-2000 goes to Pete O'Connell, and in 2000 I decided to cease keeping a journal because me whining about boys was getting a little redundant...

I think I just wrote a makeshift/pseudo - Will. ? I meant everything I typed.

I wish real Wills were like high school Wills. Like, I would like to will someone my laugh, and my team spirit, and my ability to swim the 100 free in 1 minute 45 seconds. But that has all changed now. I guess my newfound abilities are making observations, reading bedtime stories to robin, cooking turkeys and hens, knitting extra long rectangles, and rummaging through thrift/antique stores....

I wonder what is more dangerous. Flying across the Atlantic once a month, or working in a Manhattan skyscraper Monday through Friday??
I am sorry to report that the Barney's store holiday windows this year SUCK.
Sometimes we are on the same page, yet in different paragraphs.
Sometimes we are in the same paragraph, but at a different sentence.
And sometimes we are in the same sentence, just representing a different word.
Different paragraphs, different sentences; we are all part of the same story.

Monday

These conversations might not seem like much, but for some reason I get a lot of feedback on them - typically from people that live away from their parents. So I post these conversations for those of us who live far away from extremely CANDID families... sigh. Also - a side note - I get really homesick around the holidays so, this site might turn into the "my family kicks your families ass" blog for the month of December. But it's true. My family kicks ass. Once my mom kicked me in the ass. I probably deserved it though...

My family reads my website. Sometimes I will get messages telling me to “delete immediately – you are making me look like a fool.” (those would be from my mother.) or whatever – the WHOLE family is up on the gig. (hi family.) I figure its cool, because I am out living in this far away place, and they are all living in Alaska or Oregon being healthy and wise. Also - as much as they say they hate my cussing, i know they secretly love the stories. Plus - I am a bad emailer when it comes to family. Its just one of those things.
So whatever.
Yesterday I call my mom. She was sitting in the hospital with my Papa who is sick. Present in the room was my Grandma, Geoffrey, Geoffrey’s best friend Mike, and my Mom.
I called to scold her on buying tickets to go watch my other brother swim in Seattle. (He is swimming in the US Open this weekend, and both my parents are flying out to see him – Hence, I got a little jealous.) Anyway – whatever, our conversation ends.
I hang up.
About 4 seconds later they call back:
Your Grandmother wants to know if you have seen Pay It Forward?
Yes.
Well, that is what the story on your website is about - the man on the bus, right?
Well yeah Mom, but it was more a comment on how typically American he was being – like automatically associating a random act with Hollywood. I found it funny to have just gotten off the plane, and be slammed in the face, first thing with something terribly American. It was funny to me.
(Mom to the room) She saw the movie, but she finds it funny, and thinks that guy was being too American.
(Mom to me) Your grandmother says you think too much.
What?
She said “That’s Anise for you, always analyzing everything.”
I thought it was just being perceptive.
No Anise, we all know you, and you over analyze. You can’t just say thank you to a man that paid your bus fare, you have to laugh and over analyze.
I did say thank you. I laughed to myself. He did not know how I felt. Its called thinking.
No its called over analyzing.
Okay.
This Thanksgiving I successfully cooked two Cornish hens* (with plum sauce and mango chutney to boot). I was really excited about cooking. I never really cook, yet feel like I am fairly decent when all is said and done. I have made one turkey in my life, and it was 3rd of July, 2002. I was cooking for about 4 congressmen and their wives in East Hampton.
My boss:
Anise why don’t we have turkey for lunch?
Okay – I will go buy a roasted turkey.
No, I have a turkey in the icebox.
Oh. I have never cooked a turkey.
Well, I am sure you can figure it out. It can’t be that difficult. (she was kind of an ass.)
So figure it out I did, and to my chagrin, the house was in uproar of how wonderful my turkey turned out. At first I thought they were pulling my leg, but a year and a half later, I realized that all of the praise was actually intended for me and my famous turkey.
This past Saturday I was telling Doug about my Cornish Hen success, and he says (while rubbing his knuckles – something he often does)
“Well Anise, nothing really holds a candle to that God damned turkey you cooked last summer.”

*The Hens were awesome. All of us are having Christmas dinner together as well, and I have been given the chore of cooking meat again. Whewee.
According to TMobile, here is the official list of text messaging acronyms. Everyone study up. I will be sending text message Pop Quizzes.

Emoticons
:) = Happy face for humor, laughter, friendliness, sarcasm
:D = Super happy/toothy smile, broad smile, etc.
:( = Sad face for sadness, anger, upset
;) = Wink
:/ = Wry face:P = Tongue out for just kidding
((hug)) = a hug
= grin
ALL CAPS = yelling

Phrases
AFO = Adult fan of...
AIM = AOL™ Instant Messenger™
ASAP = As soon as possible
ATM = At the moment
AYT = Are you there?
B = Bye
BBFN = Bye bye for now
BBL = (I will) be back later
BYO = Bring your own
CU = See you
DDG = Drop dead gorgeous
EA = E-mail alert
EOD = End of day
ETA = Estimated time of arrival
Flame(s) = Negative or derogatory e-mail or chatting
FYI = For your information
GTG = Got to go
ICQ = 1) I seek you 2) ICQ Instant Messaging service
IGU = I give up
IMO = In my opinion
IRT = In regards to
JAM = Just a minute
JIT = Just in time
JJ = Just joking
JK = Just kidding
LMHO = Laughing my head off
LOL = Laughing out loud
Lurk = To hang out in the background/viewing
L8R = LaterNA = Not acceptable/applicable
NOS = New old stock
OIC = Oh, I see
POV = Point of view
PS = Post script
QR = Quick response
ROTFLOL = Rolling on the floor laughing out loud
SMS = Short message service (an e-mail or other message)
SPAM = unwanted e-mail or chat content
SRO = Standing room only
SUP = What's up?
TOM = Tomorrow
TNX or TKS = Thanks
TTYL = Talk to you later
U2 = You, too
UR = You are
VSTR = VoiceStream
WYSIWYG = What you see is what you get

Abbreviations for words
1 = one, won, want
2 = To, too
4 = For
8 = ate
Y = Why
M = Am
N = An, and
M8 = Mate, boy or girl friend
NE = Any
R = Are
U = You
O = Oh
K = OK
L8R = Later
4VR = Forever
YER = Your, you're
B4 = Before
CUZ = Because

Examples of text-speak
i12cu = I want to see you.
cu l8r k? = See you later, ok?
10s ne1? = Tennis anyone?